Soup Sorceress ®

If you want toasted sesame seeds, make sure to toast them yourself, instead of buying them toasted. They are so much more delicious! It’s worth the minute.

Have you ever been through a long period of time that feels like it may never end, that was so devastating, you lost inspiration?

I tried to reach at my inspiration again. Where was it? I was too devastated. I was curled into a ball, crying, imagining, resting, and healing. Each step of healing was a reason to celebrate. I really did. The way I used to get my inspiration was changing.

Food changed. I used to do so many experiments, whatever came to my mind each day. I ran out of the budget to do that, and even a kitchen.

I landed in a kitchen, where I was yelled at for being specific about my food choices.

And the inspiration just kept wilting, the sadness and pain improved.

For the sake of my health, and lowering food costs and mess in the kitchen, I began to eat extremely specific and minimally. I could feel my body vibrating more clearly, as I spent four months this way. I felt like I was failing as a cook though.

Everything I thought I was doing right, and how I was on the way up, was put away. Part of my path was to see things in a new way, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I almost forgot that spirit was guiding me when I created all those crazy soups. Mixed with my own creative impulses, and ability to listen, take signs, use what I had available, share resources, on and on, but most importantly, was to realize that the whole journey started because I decided to let go and let spirit guide me. Taking a hike every day was essential.

Only recently, like today, have I realized, some of these important cosmic memories.

I was sick of soup, and taking pictures of soups. I wanted to like it, but I didn’t feel good about it. The world wasn’t exciting, and I didn’t have my own kitchen to harness my magic in. Have you ever gotten sick of hearing the same songs? Even though all the soups were different, it felt like the same songs. Nothing really wrong with the song, but you just don’t feel it anymore. It’s not the songs fault. What’s actually happening, is that I’m waiting for the next evolvement to happen.

Here’s the recent things that inspired this today.

Today, someone asked me, “is all you cook soup”?!  I was thinking, oh my gosh, I am so much more creative then this, why am I trying to play it off like I’m just doing soups, or even just cooking, for the sake of trying to make my instagram all about soups, so that I could be consistent. Bleck! No!

I bought a papaya for this salad. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I can’t remember the last time I bought a papaya, except a babaco papaya from a local farm. I bought one at Whole Foods today. It felt good not to be so concerned about it, and just accept that sometimes I’ll add a non local ingredient.

I started making croissants for a friend who helped me in huge ways, confirm what I had been saying silently in my mind, which was awakening and heart wrenchingly challenging, in a way that only he could do. It’s inspired me because spelt croissants are one of the most sensitive and difficult baking foods there is, and I’ve been keeping at it anyway, mostly failing each time. It is summer, so that does make it  even harder to do. This took me out of my fears of using certain food ingredients, reminded me that I have the ability to be calm and patient, feel my body again, and I’m doing something that is new and enjoyable with food, instead of trying to just perfect soups. In NLP, we would call that a pattern interrupt. It works wonders.

I did it for myself. The nature of cooking for other people is that they’re paying for it, so you want to please them. I’ve gone into this new thing, even when I’m making food for someone else, that, I’m pleasing myself while making it. I do a better job.

I remembered the reason I was inspired in cooking. It was the connections, the friendships, the stories, the feelings, the symbols, creatures, attitudes, the evolvement of seeing myself in new ways, synchronicity’s, and creating new characters in me. And when that was taken away from me, and I thought I was dying, what could I do then besides accept and heal.

I remembered this because, I reached out to a couple of friends who responded so kindly to helping me resolve an issue with temperature for my ferment. I got really close to finding the solution. It was really their kindness that opened up my head, like a little light beam, which intuitively guided my head to look at a shelf above a refrigerator, that has the a/c unit right above the shelf. And there it was. It’s the right temperature, most of the time, so now I just need to get it to the right temperature all the time. This might not be the solution, but the point is, I got closer, and I’ve been dealing with this issue for a whole month. 

Sometimes it’s easier to silently forgive someone for acting in an un-evolved, hurtful way, then to have to explain anything to them. I know that they don’t actually want to respond that way. It’s ok to have boundaries, to take space without reason, it’s ok not to respond, it’s ok to shake your booty any time you want to. Things look scary, but I’ve had to take a risk at having boundaries. I had to jump off a cliff, let the tower crumble, and burn the pedestal. There was something that everyone did right.

And that’s how I came up with this thai inspired salad today. It’s not soup, thank the Goddesses and Gods! I blessed the salad before I took the picture, and then again after I took the picture. I just can’t help but to feel that every time I take the picture I want to honor the food, and then recharge it again because I just took a piece of it’s soul when I took the picture.

Ingredients: Red Cabbage, Papaya Chunks, Fermented Watermelon Radish, Paper Thin Sliced Cucumbers.

Dressing: 1 bunch cilantro, olive oil, fermented turmeric sauce (available at www.savraw.com), smoked sea salt, black pepper, chipotle powder, chili powder, lime juice, mustard, and a little juice from the fermented watermelon radish.

Shower the tower in freshly toasted sesame seeds. Eat the rainbow tower, be grateful. 🙂

Our first two years in Topanga, we lived in a large trailer on a thirteen acre property. It wasn’t easy living in a trailer, but we had the advantage of being in nature, right close to the creek, with the enchanting sounds of frogs at night, and so much space to roam. There were about 10 other living spaces around, like a little village. It was a dream come true to finally live in Topanga, and raise our son Zane there. He was only 3 at the time, so though our living space wasn’t comfortable, we had a fun and inspiring environment amongst friends. Most importantly, we were surrounded in nature. We were living amongst a group of people who loved to garden, cook, create, dance, dress up, swing on a flying hoop in the main living room, and encourage and inspire each other.

Zane was having nightmares, and I was at a loss for how to stop them. I remembered a time when my little brother was having bad dreams. I shared a room with him and he used to talk in his sleep, so I knew the nightmares were very intense. One night, my mother attempted to stop them. She put herself into his dream in order to pull him out of it. While Zane’s nightmares were not as bad as my brother’s, they were still going on.

A member of our village invited a Chumash Medicine Woman named Cecilia to stay on the land a couple months. The Chumash were the original inhabitants of this part of the California coast, from San Luis Obispo to LA County. She offered gifts of healing and nature walks, where she taught us about the local plants- what plants could be used as food, and what plants were medicine. Every day was a wonder with her. I valued the time I got with her, and treasured every lesson she taught me.

When Cecilia was staying on the land, nature responded. It was like the land was glad she was there. One day we went outside to be blessed by a rain of ladybugs. One fell on my lip and bounced off. I can still remember how it felt. One morning, a deer came to her door and knocked on it with it’s antlers. They went for a walk. In one of our sessions, a blue tailed lizard came to assist us with its lizard medicine.

Cecilia had a magical pot. During her sessions with people, she made concoctions with herbs that she had chosen and harvested. When I told her about Zane and his nightmares, she concocted a special brew for him, and told me to simmer it on the stove overnight. She said it would clear out old energy, and invite the good spirits in. I brought it home and turned on the stove to simmer, the faint blue light in the dark room echoing the moonlight on the Topanga hills outside. Then I went to bed.

In the middle of the night, I woke up in the in between state. Everything was alive and vivid. I saw a few big, tall, bright spirits walk in the door. Good spirits, the invited ones. They looked almost like people, but more cartoony. I remember their smiles, so big, so alive, so colorful. When I’m in this in between state, my body feels weightless, and sort of buzzed. They were so kind, and I welcomed them in before fading back into deeper sleep again.

I did not see what spirits they evicted, but they must have done something, because after that, Zane’s nightmares stopped.

In time I developed more awareness about wild herbs, and worked my way up to hiking every day, and foraging with my skilled foraging partner. I had the luck of having gardens where I could experiment with different heirloom vegetables and herbs, that brought great inspiration to my life and food. My magical forest creature friends in Topanga have guided me in this experience, in unusual and beautiful ways, which led me to being called the Soup Sorceress. I often feel like I’m in a Miyazaki movie, surrounded by magical flora and fauna while I create with my hands, pulling ingredients of spirit into a space of creation that heals my heart in a new way every time, and creating new flavors I never heard of before.

And I remember Cecilia’s magical pot of herbs, and the graciousness of the spirits, during times I need soup for my soul.

I quit drinking caffeine, I think it’s been about 10 months now. A lot of people have asked me how I survive without it. My body became so sensitive to caffeine, it felt like it was killing me (pardon the extremity). I’m surviving better without it. Although I really miss jumping up in the morning, getting excited, grabbing the yerba mate from the fridge, and expelling a ton of energy in a few hours, getting wildly creative ideas, sewing, business dealing, writing, and cooking at the same time, and then falling hard asleep for two hours, then waking up very hazy and sick, and often times crying by the end of the night. I don’t miss all of that, just the good parts.

When I quit caffeine, I used the method of cutting it out slowly, and doing different teas, then coffee, then decaf coffee, then chocolate drinks. After that, I had no chocolate and really worked at cleaning myself out, no sugar, bread, meat, or dairy, except when I snuck a tiny bite of butter. Hehe….. maybe a little pasture raised bacon fat too…and ok, just a couple little bites of bread form Ceor Bread at the farmers market. Tiny bites!

So about a month ago I thought I would give chocolate a try again. I just love chocolate so much, so I made chocolate drinks every morning. I was sort of ok with it, until recently, when I became more aware of what I was doing to myself. “It’s just a little tablespoon of chocolate, this has to be ok” I thought to myself every morning.

Then recently, I visited a friend. I knew it was going to come up… he asked me why my hand was shaking.

“It’s the chocolate. I can’t drink it anymore.”

Sadly, it’s just not working. I’m quick to be nervous and jumpy, which takes away from being centered, wise, and considerate. So being sensitive to my sensitivity after having a soup I made, he suggested some kava kava, valerian, or St. Johns Wort. He was right, except that I had to figure out some other calming herbs, for a few reasons. For kava kava, because I think that I need to strengthen my liver first before I start taking that. Valerian, when I tried it as a kid, used to give me an interesting type of headache. To test that out, I recently held a bottle of it at the store to see if I could feel the energy of it. Just in case it would be a good idea. I felt that strange knock out headache, plus relaxing feeling. Which is what it’s good for. It wasn’t bad, but I needed to think of something else to use. I never felt called to use St. Johns wort, but I might be willing to give it a try, that’s another story.

At the farmers market, I picked up two big fresh bunches of chamomile. I realized, that was my synchronistic, temporary answer, for a fresh and calming herb, that I could add to my morning smoothies. I also had some idea that I was going to make a purple potato salad with chamomile, thai basil, and amaranth. Instead I made this soup for Mimosa Cafe, so others can share in this chamomile experience while it’s in season. A centered, calm, mineral rich, full of nutrients, and nice flavor, experience.

Recipe

2 cups chopped cucumbers (I peeled the skin, but if I had Japanese or Armenian cucumbers I wouldn’t peel them.)

2 cups chopped heirloom tomatoes

1/2 cup chopped onions

1/4 cup laver seaweed (from Main Coast Sea Vegetables)

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

1/2 tsp spirulina

10-20 chamomile flowers.

salt and white pepper to taste

Blend it!

(I opt for white pepper because it’s healthier then black pepper, but you can use black pepper)

The seaweed is there for health reasons, but I also did a batch without the seaweed, and the taste was really nice, so it’s all an inspiration and a choice anyway.

Some day maybe I’ll get to have some fun all night adventure, road trip, and I’ll take some caffeine then, but when I drank it every day, I fell apart. I love being busy and handling a lot of things at once, but at this time in my life, within reason to what is healthful.

Recently, I’ve been making a banana smoothie in the morning with chamomile, pumpkin seeds, vanilla, and spirulina.

There are various ways to flavor and color pickled quail eggs. I used turmeric for a pretty yellow color. This was used as an appetizer for the Topanga Mountain School fundraiser, and it was gobbled up real quick. I also added pickled, turmeric english peas, which I’ll explain how to do as well. I have a new vision for this, which is to make cashew cream sauce and drizzle that all over.

This is how I do it, for 2 dozen quail eggs. The picture above is 5 dozen quail eggs.

Start with the brine, because it needs time to cool down.

~ 1.5 cups of apple cider vinegar. (you can you rice vinegar if you want)

~1/2 cup of water

~ 2 tsp black pepper

~ 2 tsp. sea salt (I use real salt brand)

~ Fresh Turmeric Root, approximately 1/8 cup, or a little more, diced. (if you chop them a little bigger, it’s easier to spoon out the eggs, without getting little raw pieces of turmeric root with it.)

You can use 2 tsp. of ground turmeric powder if you prefer. 

Put all ingredients into a pot, and get it to a boil. I boil it a couple minutes, to make sure the turmeric is cooked a little, and the salt is dissolved.

Put the brine aside. If you want it to cool down faster, put it in the fridge or freezer, just don’t forget about it if you put it in the freezer!

Then cook the quail eggs. 

I searched a lot on cooking quail eggs, perfect for pickling, and there are a few answers to this, but I chose this way and it works.

Gently place 2 dozen quail eggs in cool water in a little pot, and bring them to a boil. Boil for 4 minutes exactly. Sometimes I’ll do 10 seconds less.

Make sure you have a bowl of ice water ready before they’re done boiling. After 4 minutes, not a bit longer, quickly and gently scoop the eggs with a spoon and place them into the cold water.

They’ll cool down pretty quickly and then you can start peeling the eggs gently. They’re easy, just be gentle.

Put the eggs into a clean mason jar.

Once the brine is cooled down, pour the brine in the jar with the eggs. Close the jar and shake a little. Then put it in the fridge. Wait 3 days to a week before eating them so they’re nice and pickled. The eggs should last a month from the time you bottled them.

The pickled turmeric english peas:

It’s basically the same thing, but you’ll pour the brine HOT in the jar with the peas in them. That way it blanches it a little. It’s a perfect little sour, crunchy, turmeric pea, flavor burst!

You can use a lot less brine, depending how many fresh peas you feel like shelling.

Top the salad with little greens, radishes, pickled peas, and whatever else you like.