How to Harvest Roses and Make Rose Soup

In this post you’ll learn the benefit of the herbs I was guided to put together for my rose soup, and a story about the sacred journey of how this healing soup emerged. I hope it will inspire your own journey of gathering ingredients for a rose soup this Spring. It was a powerful experience. Below I share a link to a video where I explain a little more about that. As someone who is energetically sensitive and has struggled with how to manage it, this rose soup journey has been one of many steps forward. 

Rose and Nettles soup for Mothers Day. Grounding and revitalizing feminine strength. 

“Do you want to harvest roses with us?” Marysia our green witch guide said, as I was on my way out . Little did I know that when I innocently agreed, I was about to enter my next cosmic journey. I’m still writing about my last “midnight awakening journey.” I’ll share about it soon.

I was almost ready to leave the farm for the day, but I loved the idea of gathering a few roses. I didn’t even realize I was coming to the farm until the night before, when I was perplexed with a decision. I’ll backtrack into that a moment, it’s a good little part of the story and saved my life.

The Decision

The decision I made was about my wheel on my Subaru. It was cracked, and I didn’t know. Multiple little events in divine timing led me to my mechanic for an oil change, who noticed it and told me. “If you’re not gonna get the wheel today you need to at least rotate the wheels so that that wheel is in the back of the car. In case it breaks, it’ll be safer in the back than in the front.” That led me to Hanks Tires to rotate them.

At Hanks, a man named Sean said, “I’m not letting you leave here with that tire on. We’re not rotating them. We’re putting the spare on. You have to get a new wheel.”

They gave me no choice.

“If I rotate those tires and then let you go, I’ll go home feeling horrible thinking, I let that girl leave like that.” He went on to express just how dangerous a cracked tire is.

“You must’ve hit a pothole.”

“Ya I must’ve”, as I stood there silently, picturing the memory in my head of bumping up the side of the curve at Erewhon Market a couple months ago, thinking,“oh I must’ve did some damage” and then I moved on. These guys saved my life.

He sent me to get a wheel at the wheel store. It was 20 minutes before closing. I was faced with the decision to keep the spare on for the next 5 days and wait for a Subaru wheel to be shipped, or get the other brand that costs a little less, is the same size, and doesn’t match the rest of the  wheels on the car. While trying to make the decision, Alison from Plumcot farm called to invite me to the farm the next morning. My defining decision to drive around with a non matching wheel came down to that. I can’t drive to Malibu on a spare tire, and I don’t want to stop the flow of what’s happening here, so I got the non matching wheel. Feeling a little strange, I took off.

Had I not done that, I wouldn’t have ended up high on roses and making this magic healing soup, that’s in alignment with what I need right now. I remember around the time that I started to make decisions like that, and how that changed my life. If I had cared more about the social advantage of having matching wheels, I wouldn’t have ended up sniffing roses for an hour and healing a part of myself that has been asking to be healed. The cosmos came in at the right timing when Alison called, which helped me make my decision. 

Marysia connecting to roses.

Back to the rose story.

We walked to the roses, sat down, and Marysia began to explain that before we harvest, we would connect to the roses.       .

With her gentle guidance and our willingness to dive in, the roses pulled our faces into them, we were lost in the rose spirit for many minutes. The scent was so strong. Each of us connecting to a different bush, a different color. The scent pulled me in so deeply, my whole body fell into it’s vortex. I breathed deeply. I felt connected to it and I kept feeling. We all stopped at the same time and shared what was on our mind. 

She gave us some leaves of a plant, so that we could give back a gift to the roses after we harvested. We spent an hour, making love to roses, laughing, and harvesting them. To harvest them, we gently pulled the petals off. Then we snipped the stem off in a slant, close to a leaf stem. 

Each color bush had its own name which intensified the experience.

Examples:

Heart of Innocence

Heaven on Earth

Wise Woman

Wild Blue Yonder (this is what I used for soup)

 

 

 

Marysia Miernowska of “The Gaia School of Healing California”

At a certain point we realized we all felt like we were on a psychedelic, or more like we expressed why we didn’t need psychedelics because it’s so easy for us to access those states. We were in another dimension. It was a little like going to “Alice in Wonderland.” on Plumcot Farm.  

 

 

 

Imagine if every billboard that was promoting a cannabis company was actually promoting a new small, biodynamic farm, with beautiful pictures of colorful produce and flowers. If growing more small farms, was as popular, profitable,  and as well promoted as CBD, the world would totally change.  I’ll explain more about that in my next post. 🙂

I decided to make a rose and nettle soup. I asked Marysia her thoughts. She runs “The Gaia School of Healing California.” (I highly recommend her course.)

 

She also has a little shop in Topanga, called “Wild Love Apothecary”, where you can pick up dried herbs and talk to green witch specialists. 

 

 

I’m still a young Sorceress and I have much to learn about this adventure that I’ve been guided into over the years. Marysia taught me some things about the plants that I wanted to make a soup with, as I pondered which ingredients I wanted to put together.

The Benefits of Roses, Nettles, and Burdock

“What do you think about the healing combination of rose and nettles?”, I said.

“That’s great together, yes. Nettles helps us receive the deep nourishment and wild vitality of the earth mother. Roses opens are heart and unconditional and divine love.”

She also suggested I use burdock. I wasn’t surprised this came up. Burdock has a symbolic meaning for me in healing relationship with Men. When she said that, I knew it was time for me to invite burdock into the soup, especially with Mothers Day coming up, it was the right timing.

This is like the next chapter after I had done the liver cleanse, which I also called the lovers cleanse. I’ll get more into that when I bring up my soup journey event, “Soup Revitalize” as opposed to a “Soup Cleanse”.

Burdock is a nourishing root, high in minerals, enzymes, and vitamins. It cleanses the lymph, it’s grounding and nourishing.”

I’m in constant reflection with grounding and calming my nervous system. I’ve come a long way with it and I loved the idea of using burdock to help.

Wild Love Apothecary Shop

 

I asked the Earth Angel to pick up burdock for me in our little town magic shop.

When he was there a fellow Topangan asked him, “what are you getting?”

I’m getting some burdock for a friend.” said the Earth Angel

“Oh, sounds like a Kali order.”

That’s right. 🙂

I think you can agree from the photo, this rose soup really transformed into a real deal green witch soup. There’s so much I’m not in control of, I’m just watching it happen. 

Here’s the soup, if you would like to try something like it.

May all beings stop to smell the roses. May all beings experience realms of time and space that nourish, revitalize, and inspire us. May all beings have access to the world’s best plant medicines.

 

 

The Soup

You can also click here to see what I did in a short video, and I explain how these herbs helped me.

 

~First, I made an overnight infusion with mullen, geranium, sage, and burdock. To make an overnight infusion, I just poured hot water into the mason jar with the herbs in it and left it out all night. Not in the fridge. This would be the broth. 

 

~In the morning, I discarded the herbs and pureed the liquid and the burdock, with the fresh rose, nettle leaves, purple snap pea flowers, chocolate mint, and lemon balm.

 

~I simmered that with scallions, basil and zucchini, and then used a stainless steel hand mixer to blend the ingredients. Then I added seaweed, salt, and other spices.

 

~The salad you see on top of the soup is how I like to add toppings, raw kohlrabi and watermelon radish with olive oil. I also added spicy pickled snap peas. Give your soup a fresh crunch! If I had a soup shop I would have various ingredients you could put on top like you do for ice cream, accept you would be eating medicine instead of sugar and have fun with it. 🙂

 Happy Mothers Day

Lastly, I want to say Happy Mothers Day, and share how blessed I feel to have such an incredible, creative, polite, intelligent, teenage Son who continues to impress everyone around him.

 

Treating myself to a flower bath for Mothers Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dissolving Disempowered Thoughts

How I survived the Wild Month of February

It’s been a traumatic month. It was the month of the Burn, the Rash, and the Theft. I got a second degree burn, a big poison oak rash, and someone stole from my business. It left me wounded, scarred, and broken, adding layers to my recent evolution.

One night I was woke up in a powerful trance state at 1:30am. I heard these words, and wrote them down exactly as they were dropped like a water leak into my mind:

“Notice the power of the illusion of acting on a disempowered thought, based in a reality of time and space that doesn’t feel worth it’s presence in your right mind. Believe in its presence, and hold space that there’s a new more empowering thought arising in the shadows and depths of your soul.”

Spirit Drunk

I thought things were on their way up in my life. I was feeling good. I had just recently revived my health after a period of thinking I was dying. I was getting energy to exercise again. All my time researching and working on my health and my intuition was working.

At the beginning of the month, I felt like I was drunk on spirit. It was both exhilarating and confusing. I don’t know how to explain that, except to say that my ring flew off my hand as I tripped over my own foot. Stuff like that kept happening.

You know those dreams when you’re falling down a hole, and your body actually feels like it’s falling, and your body shocks itself awake? I had that, but I was tying a shoe and tripping over it. It was extremely vivid. It felt kind of like a lucid dream state, but it was different.

I went back to improv class during this time. I’m in a place of such heightened sensitivity that when my improv teacher told us he was hung over, I felt drunk! The whole class I was giggling nonstop and even hiccuping. It was so bad that the woman doing a scene with me made use of it and directed the scene into me being drunk. Which worked out quite well since we were talking about what to do with a blender. “There’s a rehab next door, I think you should go in that direction.” Good line…

Broth Burn

The burn happened 4 days later. I’m convinced this was due to the presence of confused, disempowering thoughts going on.

I didn’t listen to an important voice.

Something told me not to wear those pants with holes on the legs, that morning. The voice said, “No, don’t do it!”

I didn’t need to know why I was supposed to listen to that voice, I just simply needed to listen; but, I was in a rush to get my son to school, so I just left. I could have still listened to my instinct and looked for different pants. I don’t even really like those pants!

So the broth splashed and of course it landed right on the exposed part of my leg. And it hurt. A lot. I screamed like crazy.

My son looked on Google and told me to run cold water in the bath for 20 minutes. I took this photo because there was a part of me that was elated, the pain a reminder of my alive-ness. I was in pain and at the same time feeling blessed it wasn’t worse.

IMG_8025
The Burn is Above my Right Knee. I tried to look like I was comfortable in the snow, I almost had it!

To be honest, when I burned myself, I was more concerned about the aesthetics than the pain. What about those cute shorts I wanted to buy? Or that mini skirt I made, looking forward to the summer. What if I could never art model again or take naked photos? So I took some naked photos* in the snow, and chilled out.

I realize now, some weeks later, that what the Burn gave me was not just a scar– it was a mark that reminds me that I’m a woman who will pick up the pieces, dust myself off, believe, and move forward in ways I never imagined. And for that I am incredibly grateful.

Acting Rashly

The same day I burned myself, I was attacked with poison oak all over my lower back, and a spot on my butt and arm! It’s a pain I would not wish on anyone! Both of these mistakes could’ve been avoided, but I’m a soul rebel, braving the wilderness, and I can get a little nonsensical at times.  

With a little help from my men…

IMG_8031
Print from my Uncle Judson Huss.

I have a deep appreciation for wonderful Men. Soup Sorcery has a lot to do with the inspiration of Men in my life, each one pivotal, life changing, and magic. In fact, what got me through were some spectacular Men: my Son, my Brother, the Earth Angel, and the Faun.

No one yelled at me, ignored me, or lectured me about how stupid I was for getting burned. No one hit me on the head. They helped me, and I didn’t do it all on my own. I felt safe.

The Earth Angel picked up aloe vera for me when Erewhon ran out, and I couldn’t bear to drive anymore. He skillfully and perfectly dripped aloe vera on my burn, then wrapped it gently.

Noticing my sadness while he wrapped my leg, he said, “It’s ok, just imagine all the good surprises in life that haven’t happened yet.” He gave me a shoulder to cry on.

“Do you want a tissue?” he asked.

I answered, “I already used your shirt. Sorry.” He just continued to hold loving space.

He brought me soup and an immune booster, and talked to me for half an hour while I had the flu. I sent the Earth Angel off with some wellness formula, hoping he wouldn’t catch my flu (He didn’t).

He brought me to dinner at his friends’ house, where they gave me some of their homemade colloidal silver. I honestly don’t know what good colloidal silver does, but the sensation of the gift felt powerful and amazing. 

The Vegetable Thief

Okay, so before I said I would wish poison oak pain on no one, but if I were inclined to do so, there’s someone who could probably roll in it covered in super glue, he made me so mad…

Though I was experiencing the pain of the burn and the poison oak, I continued to do business as I always do. One of the drivers that I hire weekly, had to cancel one week, and I was scrapped to find a driver on craigslist. He seemed like a nice person, so I didn’t read the red flags correctly. I was in pain and needed help! So I sent him off with $800 worth of produce boxes, and a check to deliver them. Then I didn’t hear from him all day, or that night. He blocked my number.

At first I didn’t know if he was in an accident or something else happened. My Psychic tuned in and said that the guy was someone who made erratic decisions. I thought, “either he made an erratic decision and crashed, or he made an erratic decision and stole vegetables.” The Earth Angel called him the next day, and the guy answered, then hung up when he told him he was calling on my behalf. So that ruled out the accident, plus he cashed the check before I canceled it. 

My friend the Faun called him several times and left messages, and found a picture of him for me so I could identify him to the authorities. My Brother, who had adamantly and skillfully fixed the security camera a week before the incident, sent me the pictures of the guy’s car and license plate. I have this image in my mind, watching my brother fix the wires, and telling me how important it was that he do this before he left town, and in my mind I was questioning why. Everything was ready for the police report, the camera shots were important. 

I had no choice but to email my customers and be honest. I wrote:

“I’ve never experienced this in my 8 years doing this little business. I’ve always followed through at every challenge. I count on being able to make the basic expenses of this business. In order for me to continue, I have to ask if any of you are willing to take soup credits instead of a refund. I would greatly appreciate it.”

Some people donated, some people needed a refund, and about half of the people took soup credits. A few people canceled. That’s business. I am incredibly grateful to my wonderful customers.

But I was so inspired by the kindness of my customers, and felt so protected by the my Angel men, it blasted me out of my pain. Not that I didn’t feel it. I was just so relieved to feel safe, after so many years in a fight or flight stance.

So, while I don’t wish poison oak pain (or any pain!) on anyone, I won’t be mad if the Vegetable Thief were to get a persistent itch that he can’t quite reach.

Honestly, it was thanks to the Men who stepped in that I was able to handle this situation with authenticity and elegance.

Note to the thief: My Son suffers from physical pain, in which he sees specialists for. I work with what I have to make that possible. It’s not easy. I worked crazy hours and put up with so many challenges to keep my businesses. I hold space for everyones growth and encourage you to reach out to the Detective, and work on paying back the funds.

Gettin’ Back On That Horse IMG_7772

That night I decided it was time to go back to dance class for the first time in three months. I just knew it was time. They were surprised and happy to see me. I told them my story, and about how inspired I was by all the people that made me feel better.

The dance class was full of spirit that day. They danced so well and said things like, “Be like Kali, get back on that horse!”

I also went back to improv class. No more hiding, it’s time to get back out there! My friends there were really mad at the thief on my behalf. Like they were channeling all that anger I was too afraid to express. My dear friend Lana said, “Let’s call him and make him fall in love with us, and then crush his heart!” I felt like I had a team of improvising Topanga townspeople ready with pitchforks.

Erewhon In Retrograde

Each time I go to Erewhon now it gets bigger, brighter, and more interesting– and my broths were nowhere to be seen! They had moved things around. Another Angel, is my friend who’s the Vice President of Erewhon and runs the Calabasas store. We looked around for the broths. They have been selling out much quicker lately. People love the shitake and sage broth. “It would be great if you could put my broths in your fresh soup section.”

Victor rolled his eyes and tilted his head to the side. I said, “I know, I know I’m always pushing, but if I don’t say anything, who will?” He agreed about that. I told him, “Mercury goes retrograde in Pisces tomorrow.”

He got a look of concern. “I’m Pisces, is that bad?” “No it’s great, Pisces are the best. But I can’t find my broth on your shelves and my keys have gone missing.”

We’ll see where I end up in the store next…

For anyone who wants to learn more about the retrograde in Pisces, I recommend my astrologists video. Follow her channel!

Unity Consciousness

I found my keys. They were in my car like I had predicted, or more like it was common sense. I began to walk back in the store to talk to a Chef Friend who recently did a video for me at Erewhon, and her presence helped me to remind myself, “Ok now, get into unity consciousness.” I then heard whistling and my name being called out. I turned around, and there was the Man I needed to talk to today. We had scheduled a call for later in the day, without a specific time, about an event we’re doing together, but here we were now.

I showed him the burn on my leg. “You know that the burn makes you even better right? Sexier. You know you’re very sexy right?”

“Yes, I do.” I answered. “But I don’t like the burn. It doesn’t make me feel more sexy.” I just could not yet be ok with this new burn and poison oak scars.

On my way home, I wept in gratitude for all the unexpected kindness from the Angel Men, that came from all this stress and scary stuff. The tears were healing, dissolving disempowering thoughts and transforming them into empowered thoughts. Remembering the words I had woken up to (written in the beginning of this post), I feel a deeper and richer sense of empowerment.

I have many scars. I don’t have to like them. But they are there to remind me of what I survived and I love that.  It’s perfectly imperfect. Like me. Not that I like imperfections, but I can love them.

And Finally, Soup!

During all this insanity, I got the Earth Angel’s soup recipe. It will open your sinuses and blast open your heart like everyone did for me in the brutal month that was February 2019 in the life of the Soup Sorceress.

Incantation:

May all beings feel safe. May all beings attune to unity consciousness.  May all beings grow. May all beings be free. May all beings warm their heart and soul. May all beings see the choice to turn painful emotions into magic. Thank you Angel Men, I love you all. Happy International Women’s Day, thank you for helping me feel a little safer. 

Earth Angel Soup

IMG_7775

Ingredients:

Water

½ or ¾ lb Red Lentils

About the same amount of Brown Rice

Basket of Mushrooms

Broccoli

Kale

Bell Pepper

Jalapenos (chopped tiny)

Ginger (chopped tiny)

Turmeric Powder

Add more water as needed

Salt to taste (Hint: He adds too much.)

Raw, Thinly Sliced Onions on Top

Add avocado cubes at the end.
IMG_7776

In order to get the right amount of ginger and jalapeno to be the amount he uses, look at the picture. He uses one to two jalapenos that size. Just one ginger that size.

With soups like this, I let the rice, lentils, ginger, jalapeno, and turmeric cook for 20 or 30 minutes, then add mushrooms. You add the broccoli in the last 5 or 10 minutes of the total cooking time, and then add the kale once you turn off the heat. Bell Pepper can go in whenever you want, depending on how much crunch you want.

 

Alice in Topangaland

Recently I came to a realization: that I had chased a big white rabbit, fell into its hole for many years, and was pulled out by a caterpillar.

When I shared this with my astrologer friend Alex, she said, “I know, I watched it happen.” And my thought was, “I know, I watched you watch it happen and I had a real enjoyment knowing you could see!” She wasn’t there from the beginning, but she caught on when she did, and popped in and out in such delightful timing. One time, she popped in while I was hiking. “Kali!?” I was overjoyed! It’s easy to spot a red hat in the forest.

I showed her the direction where the secret spot for a lot of pearly everlasting exists. Turns out, it was both our favorite flower, and she’d been dying to know the name of it. I said, “it smells like heaven orange”, she said, “it’s definitely waffles and maple syrup”. We’re both right!

I have journeyed like a lost Alice, pain in my heart and soul, ready to heal. And yes, I was chased by cards with swords (It’s complicated to explain who had the cards and who had the swords- but they were there).

IMG_6958

                                                     

Coincidentally (or not) I played Alice in a play when I was 9. It was a great role for me, but I so wanted to be one of the Orphans. The Orphans were a room full of my Acting class friends, and playing Alice felt pretty lonely.  I only got to dialogue with, grown up Actors, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Not getting to be one of the Orphans with all my friends, who intuitively shared dreams together in the night, felt a little like I do now; a lonely Alice. The play was called Orphan Dreams, Directed by Elisabeth Brooks, and I was Alice in Wonderland in one of the dreams.

When I was 20, I was in the movie The Helix, which was a spoof of The Matrix. You can see it on YouTube, starring Vanilla Ice. I played a prostitute, and my soon-to-be-first-husband played The Rabbit, in a rabbit suit, in one of the scenes. A lot happened behind the scenes of the film. It was pretty hilarious. I won’t get into the story about the Hulk, or what we did with the Rabbit head in Venice Beach. Just know that I followed that bouncy Rabbit down the rabbit hole.

My friend Corey and I ran into Laurence Fishburne in Venice during the making of the film, and told him about that Matrix spoof. He was very nice about it, and told us to be careful crossing the street. We were.

Then there was this music video I did when I was 19, which reminded me of a life experience years later. It was so strange to uncover this video, and realize how similar the video was to a future experience. As a method actress, I guess I was drawing on future experience rather than past experience, as one would expect. But time is relative anyway, so I guess that makes sense.

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 9.24.57 AM 

 

Luckily for me, not all of the films or plays I did had immediate relevance to my life away from the stage or camera; otherwise I’d be dead at 15, survived tackling a vampire, I’d be Helen Keller, a prostitute in downtown, and a lesbian talking to an imaginary girlfriend in a pink and white striped sweater. And I’d have been caught sucking on a frozen popsicle on the Playboy channel (Oops! Actually, that was a reality show and that did happen).

Just a day after writing this, I was in the parking lot of Mimosa Cafe when I looked at the car parked next to me and saw a pink and white striped fabric. I thought, oh that kinda looks like that sweater I was talking about. Wait, that’s pretty much exactly like the fabric of the sweater I was talking about.

IMG_7110

What I want to know is what this random chicken egg was doing in the forest, why it was still there yesterday, and why I’m craving chicken when I stopped eating meat? I was told a story this morning about a girl named Love Chicken. And why last night I was intuitively guided to notice an egg in one of my Uncle’s paintings. And then, sadly, I saw a road kill chicken on the freeway today. It had quite beautiful feathers. This may be why people think I’m high all the time, but the reality is I don’t use weed, hallucinogens, alcohol, nothing. I can’t even eat chocolate without shaking!

IMG_7079

There was a time when I used to think shrooms should be micro-dosed daily. I didn’t do the experiment, I just thought people would like it better than coffee. That was before I was pregnant  with my Son, and began waking up in incredible trance states of awareness that were totally natural to me. I was young and enthused by the discovery of the magic mushrooms. The things I saw, the things I did… it was all pretty interesting.

Have you ever been sucked up a portal? There’s nothing like that sound and the way people look, when you’re watching them from above and inside a portal. It’s like a tube mirror (while feeling the sucking feeling of the tube) that distorts their face, a little like they’re the one in the portal getting their face sucked in the air. This is not an easy experience to explain; I’ve really tried.

Through my own experience, I believe that we can achieve great states of consciousness without the help of the more intense plant medicines. I especially felt that way when I was pregnant, waking up in wild, hyperactive states of consciousness.

Like that time I did a liver flush and I went from feeling low and not so good, pretty weak, and, as you can see in the middle of the video, I go into a trance where I talk about purple stars, and at the end of the video I look pretty lit up. This was over about a 2-week period of time. 8 days for the flush. My Brother said, “maybe you’re cleansing the ‘shrooms from your liver.” It definitely felt like it.

I’m already so sensitive to everything and everyone, that I can really feel it if they are taking anything. If people are drunk, I feel it,  and in some cases, even have fun without the painful effects on my body.

And all I can say now is, there was a time I left behind some shoes as a symbolic representation, actually two times now, once with the caterpillar, once with the Rabbit, and today I have new shoes. The best, most comfy ones so far. I think that about sums up years of pain, struggle, and heartbreak. More will be revealed.

May all beings be free of pain. May all beings be well fed. May all beings climb out of the pain of loneliness. May all beings find safety. May all beings be blessed, especially my son’s cat! That miracle cat might be the next story.

 

Stay tuned…

Love,

The Soup Sorceress

MOMENTS FROM THE EVOLUTION OF THE SOUP SORCERESS

 

The First Soup:

mollycookbook

I was 11 years old when I made my first soup.  

It was a simple recipe from the American Girls Molly’s Cookbook. I was so excited. I clearly remember the love I felt cutting each vegetable and putting it into the pot. I took each step seriously. Looking back now, after a lot more experience,  I’m happy to say I don’t think it wasn’t a good soup recipe.

These days the cutting of vegetables doesn’t give me the same pleasure, because I make soups on a slightly bigger scale. I also don’t really do recipes anymore, I create synchronistically, which is far more satisfying.

First Lesson From The Soup Man:

soupman

I was 16 years old, visiting New York City for the first time on a school trip with my Counselor, Ms. D, who was also a psychic, and my friend Rosemary (what a great name). We went to the Soup Kitchen International soup shop on West 55th street made famous as Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi”: “No soup for you!”

rosemary
Rosemary

I waited in that long New York City lunch-rush line, and for the life of me I couldn’t find the signs for the soup flavors. When it was my turn, I walked up to the counter and innocently asked the Soup Man what soups he had. He immediately yelled, “next!” It broke my heart a little, and I stepped aside. I finally found the signs describing the flavors, and I waited my turn again.                

Once that initial pain in my heart came up when he said “next”, like I was just a foolish teenager from the valley of LA on a School Thespians trip,  I immediately felt a real sense of appreciation for what he had done. I liked his boundary, it was an impactful moment of growth for me. Once I got serious about soup, 15 years later, I understood even better, why he reacted that way. It’s a work that’s easily taken for granted.

I speak positively of the Soup Man, in relation to a set of experiences that taught me about boundaries, and the positive effect it has on the integrity of soups and life. I feel like I know how he felt. He’s the OG Soup Man!

I’m one to be very serious about what goes in the pot, more than anything, in regards to where I’m sourcing my vegetables.

The First Sorceress Hats:

mimosa

Cafe Mimosa in Topanga,  is where I first started selling soups, thanks to the wonderful owner Claire who supports locals, and has a heart of gold. One of my intentions for doing it came from the desire to make more friends, and I did. A couple years ago, I was sitting at the Cafe, very stressed, because I needed help getting to the next level. I had many people telling me the soups were the best, and I was trying so hard to get across to everyone the difference between large farm organic and small farm organic, and why it mattered to me, without being boring, and somehow having the proper promotional material, on a no more budget left to do it scenario. All the money went into the pot. I needed help.  It was an interesting sort of stress, because, while I felt horrible, I was also aware that the discomfort had put me into a heightened state of awareness, like I was leaning over the edge of a cliff.

My friend Joseph the tarot reader entered and sat down next to me. It had been about 10 years since I let someone else read tarot for me. I trusted in the synchronicity. I was delighted by the things he picked up on. He mentioned my Uncle, my Grandfather (my “Papa”), and what to do next.

One of my regrets was that I didn’t go visit my Papa before he transitioned, even though he lived a mere 20 minutes away in the Pacific Palisades, because having a Son, I was concerned with spending the gas money. Joseph told me my Papa was with me. I told him, “I know”.  Joseph also said, “Deceased elders want to see their lineage connect”. So I set off on a drive by myself, in spite of the gas money and 6 hour drive, to visit my Aunt in San Mateo. I hadn’t done anything like that for myself in many years. Being a Mother and Wife, my main focus was them, and their needs, not what I wanted to do. I just wanted to take a little trip, feel a different environment, and see my Aunts.

There was a black hat laying perfectly flat on the dresser of the guest room. I looked at that hat a lot, throughout the short visit. I could tell it was my Grandmother’s hat, who lives in LA. I could feel it in me, that I was supposed to wear that hat, it was the right timing. I didn’t have any hats, I wanted a hat for a long time, and that one was like a Sorceress hat.

img_0985

I walked out of the house with it on my head, and kept wearing it almost every day. It was transforming. I just knew it was there to be the next phase in awakening this character. It was also the house where the Cambpells soup lithographs are.

A quick background on the pictures. My Papa had fine art on his walls, including my Uncle Judson Huss, and the Andy Warhol lithographs of Campbells Soup cans. We just never understood why anyone would put those cans on their walls. I did eat a lot of Campbells tomato soup when I was a kid. Then, later in life, I became absolutely, positively, without a doubt in my mind, very serious about creating the best, most healthful, organic soups imaginable. Those lithographs are at my Aunt’s house now. 

IMG_4242

It’s funny to think about these things, because that soup can was dialed into my subconscious since I was a wee one. So were my Uncles paintings, which had a huge impact on how I create in all areas of my life. The way he authentically and intuitively portrayed creatures in the world was very real for me. 

Uncle Judd the hunter

The Red Hat: Last Christmas, I opened my Aunts gift. She sent me two hats made of wool! I was really impressed with how she found those hats in particular, and that she cared enough to understand how special that would be for me. I pulled out the red hat while we were on facetime. We were both uncertain. She made a strange look on her face, and my Mom tried to play it off like she thought it was pretty. It was a strange moment, because my Aunt didn’t realize it would be so red.

IMG_6124

By the next day, I embraced the red redness, ended up loving it, wore it almost every single day, and everywhere I go someone loves the hat. There was so much power in it, and radiance. It flew off my head a few times. I danced in the rain in the middle of a random summer storm with it on. I’ve been stopped over and over just to talk about the hat. The hat was cut into shreds in front of me, piece by piece by piece, like shards of glass, which shortly after, led to my separation. He said, “you’re secretive, you’re just hiding behind this hat”, and some other things most of which were too hurtful and ridiculous to share. I bought a new one after that, but it wasn’t the same, just close enough. It reminded me of my first little heartbreak as a teenager, when I bought myself a red suede long jacket to celebrate my next phase in life. It’s also a little like the moment The Soup Man hurt my feelings, and I was into the next phase. A separation is much more complicated, frightening, and impactful, but I see these moments as the pivotal ones. 

IMG_6408

(Topanga Sage in the Hat.)

To red hats, transformations, Campbells shitty red tomato soup, to my Uncles Incredible Art, my Papas awesome taste, my Grandmothers taste in hats, my Aunts hospitality, to Joseph who read my tarot and told me my soups were medicine, to Mimosa Cafe, to the end of a cycle when the hat was in pieces. And dancing with the new hat in the storm, thanks to Topanga Magic. And heart breaks that break the spells of the past and forward us into the next paradigm. May all beings be blessed, and free to express their heart and spirit in its whole, complete form.

IMG_9274

There are more scenes like this, there’s more to share, there’s more to create. I left behind a sinking pirate ship, and I’m still shaking outside of the cold water, with the courage to get through battles and healing, I never saw coming. And I’m good at seeing things coming, so long as it’s day by day.

Rainbow Tower Salad

If you want toasted sesame seeds, make sure to toast them yourself, instead of buying them toasted. They are so much more delicious! It’s worth the minute.

Have you ever been through a long period of time that feels like it may never end, that was so devastating, you lost inspiration?

I tried to reach at my inspiration again. Where was it? I was too devastated. I was curled into a ball, crying, imagining, resting, and healing. Each step of healing was a reason to celebrate. I really did. The way I used to get my inspiration was changing.

Food changed. I used to do so many experiments, whatever came to my mind each day. I ran out of the budget to do that, and even a kitchen.

I landed in a kitchen, where I was yelled at for being specific about my food choices.

And the inspiration just kept wilting, the sadness and pain improved.

For the sake of my health, and lowering food costs and mess in the kitchen, I began to eat extremely specific and minimally. I could feel my body vibrating more clearly, as I spent four months this way. I felt like I was failing as a cook though.

Everything I thought I was doing right, and how I was on the way up, was put away. Part of my path was to see things in a new way, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I almost forgot that spirit was guiding me when I created all those crazy soups. Mixed with my own creative impulses, and ability to listen, take signs, use what I had available, share resources, on and on, but most importantly, was to realize that the whole journey started because I decided to let go and let spirit guide me. Taking a hike every day was essential.

Only recently, like today, have I realized, some of these important cosmic memories.

I was sick of soup, and taking pictures of soups. I wanted to like it, but I didn’t feel good about it. The world wasn’t exciting, and I didn’t have my own kitchen to harness my magic in. Have you ever gotten sick of hearing the same songs? Even though all the soups were different, it felt like the same songs. Nothing really wrong with the song, but you just don’t feel it anymore. It’s not the songs fault. What’s actually happening, is that I’m waiting for the next evolvement to happen.

Here’s the recent things that inspired this today.

Today, someone asked me, “is all you cook soup”?!  I was thinking, oh my gosh, I am so much more creative then this, why am I trying to play it off like I’m just doing soups, or even just cooking, for the sake of trying to make my instagram all about soups, so that I could be consistent.

I bought a papaya for this salad. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I can’t remember the last time I bought a papaya, except a babaco papaya from a local farm. I bought one at Whole Foods today. It felt good not to be so concerned about it, and just accept that sometimes I’ll add a non local ingredient.

I started making croissants for a friend who helped me in huge ways, confirm what I had been saying silently in my mind, which was awakening and heart wrenchingly challenging, in a way that only he could do. It’s inspired me because it took me out of my fears of using certain food ingredients, reminded me that I have the ability to be calm and patient, feel my body again, and I’m doing something that is new and enjoyable with food, instead of trying to just perfect soups. It’s a pattern interrupt, which helps to re-enliven things.

I did it for myself. The nature of cooking for other people is that they’re paying for it, so you want to please them. I’ve gone into this new thing, even when I’m making food for someone else, that, I’m pleasing myself while making it. It feels better.

I remembered the reason I was inspired in cooking. It was the connections, the friendships, the stories, the feelings, the symbols, creatures, attitudes, the evolvement of seeing myself in new ways, synchronicity’s, and creating new characters in me. And when that was taken away from me, and I thought I was dying, what could I do then besides accept and heal.

Sometimes it’s easier to silently forgive someone for acting in an un-evolved, hurtful way, then to have to explain anything to them. I know that they don’t actually want to respond that way. It’s ok to have boundaries, to take space without reason, it’s ok not to respond, it’s ok to shake your booty any time you want to. Things look scary, but I’ve had to take a risk at having boundaries. I had to jump off a cliff, let the tower crumble, and burn the pedestal. There was something that everyone did right.

And that’s how I came up with this thai inspired salad today. It’s not soup! I blessed the salad before I took the picture, and then again after I took the picture. I just can’t help but to feel that every time I take the picture I want to honor the food, and then recharge it again because I just took a piece of it’s soul when I took the picture.

IMG_5748

Ingredients: Red Cabbage, Papaya Chunks, Fermented Watermelon Radish, Paper Thin Sliced Cucumbers.

Dressing: 1 bunch cilantro, olive oil, fermented turmeric sauce (available at www.savraw.com), smoked sea salt, black pepper, chipotle powder, chili powder, lime juice, mustard, and a little juice from the fermented watermelon radish.

Shower the tower in freshly toasted sesame seeds. Eat the rainbow tower, be grateful. 🙂

 

 

 

 

Cecilias Pot

Our first two years in Topanga, we lived in a large trailer on a thirteen acre property. It wasn’t easy living in a trailer, but we had the advantage of being in nature, right close to the creek, with the enchanting sounds of frogs at night, and so much space to roam. There were about 10 other living spaces around, like a little village. It was a dream come true to finally live in Topanga, and raise our son Zane there. He was only 3 at the time, so though our living space wasn’t comfortable, we had a fun and inspiring environment amongst friends. Most importantly, we were surrounded in nature. We were living amongst a group of people who loved to garden, cook, create, dance, dress up, swing on a flying hoop in the main living room, and encourage and inspire each other.

Zane was having nightmares, and I was at a loss for how to stop them. I remembered a time when my little brother was having bad dreams. I shared a room with him and he used to talk in his sleep, so I knew the nightmares were very intense. One night, my mother attempted to stop them. She put herself into his dream in order to pull him out of it. While Zane’s nightmares were not as bad as my brother’s, they were still going on.

 

A member of our village invited a Chumash Medicine Woman named Cecilia to stay on the land a couple months. The Chumash were the original inhabitants of this part of the California coast, from San Luis Obispo to LA County. She offered gifts of healing and nature walks, where she taught us about the local plants- what plants could be used as food, and what plants were medicine. Every day was a wonder with her. I valued the time I got with her, and treasured every lesson she taught me.

topangamesengercecilia

 

When Cecilia was staying on the land, nature responded. It was like the land was glad she was there. One day we went outside to be blessed by a rain of ladybugs. One fell on my lip and bounced off. I can still remember how it felt. One morning, a deer came to her door and knocked on it with it’s antlers. They went for a walk. In one of our sessions, a blue tailed lizard came to assist us with its lizard medicine.

 

Cecilia had a magical pot. During her sessions with people, she made concoctions with herbs that she had chosen and harvested. When I told her about Zane and his nightmares, she concocted a special brew for him, and told me to simmer it on the stove overnight. She said it would clear out old energy, and invite the good spirits in. I brought it home and turned on the stove to simmer, the faint blue light in the dark room echoing the moonlight on the Topanga hills outside. Then I went to bed.

 

In the middle of the night, I woke up in the in between state. Everything was alive and vivid. I saw a few big, tall, bright spirits walk in the door. Good spirits, the invited ones. They looked almost like people, but more cartoony. I remember their smiles, so big, so alive, so colorful. When I’m in this in between state, my body feels weightless, and sort of buzzed. They were so kind, and I welcomed them in before fading back into deeper sleep again.

 

I did not see what spirits they evicted, but they must have done something, because after that, Zane’s nightmares stopped.

 

In time I developed more awareness about wild herbs, and worked my way up to hiking every day, and foraging with my skilled foraging partner. I had the luck of having gardens where I could experiment with different heirloom vegetables and herbs, that brought great inspiration to my life and food. My magical forest creature friends in Topanga have guided me in this experience, in unusual and beautiful ways, which led me to being called the Soup Sorceress. I often feel like I’m in a Miyazaki movie, surrounded by magical flora and fauna while I create with my hands, pulling ingredients of spirit into a space of creation that heals my heart in a new way every time, and creating new flavors I never heard of before.

 

And I remember Cecilia’s magical pot of herbs, and the graciousness of the spirits, during times I need soup for my soul.

Stop and Smell the Chamomile

I quit drinking caffeine, I think it’s been about 10 months now. A lot of people have asked me how I survive without it. My body became so sensitive to caffeine, it felt like it was killing me (pardon the extremity). I’m surviving better without it. Although I really miss jumping up in the morning, getting excited, grabbing the yerba mate from the fridge, and expelling a ton of energy in a few hours, getting wildly creative ideas, sewing, business dealing, writing, and cooking at the same time, and then falling hard asleep for two hours, then waking up very hazy and sick, and often times crying by the end of the night. I don’t miss all of that, just the good parts.

When I quit caffeine, I used the method of cutting it out slowly, and doing different teas, then coffee, then decaf coffee, then chocolate drinks. After that, I had no chocolate and really worked at cleaning myself out, no sugar, bread, meat, or dairy, except when I snuck a tiny bite of butter. Hehe….. maybe a little pasture raised bacon fat too…and ok, just a couple little bites of bread form Ceor Bread at the farmers market. Tiny bites!

So about a month ago I thought I would give chocolate a try again. I just love chocolate so much, so I made chocolate drinks every morning. I was sort of ok with it, until recently, when I became more aware of what I was doing to myself. “It’s just a little tablespoon of chocolate, this has to be ok” I thought to myself every morning.

Then recently, I visited a friend. I knew it was going to come up… he asked me why my hand was shaking.

“It’s the chocolate. I can’t drink it anymore.”

Sadly, it’s just not working. I’m quick to be nervous and jumpy, which takes away from being centered, wise, and considerate. So being sensitive to my sensitivity after having a soup I made, he suggested some kava kava, valerian, or St. Johns Wort. He was right, except that I had to figure out some other calming herbs, for a few reasons. For kava kava, because I think that I need to strengthen my liver first before I start taking that. Valerian, when I tried it as a kid, used to give me an interesting type of headache. To test that out, I recently held a bottle of it at the store to see if I could feel the energy of it. Just in case it would be a good idea. I felt that strange knock out headache, plus relaxing feeling. Which is what it’s good for. It wasn’t bad, but I needed to think of something else to use. I never felt called to use St. Johns wort, but I might be willing to give it a try, that’s another story.

At the farmers market, I picked up two big fresh bunches of chamomile. I realized, that was my synchronistic, temporary answer, for a fresh and calming herb, that I could add to my morning smoothies. I also had some idea that I was going to make a purple potato salad with chamomile, thai basil, and amaranth. Instead I made this soup for Mimosa Cafe, so others can share in this chamomile experience while it’s in season. A centered, calm, mineral rich, full of nutrients, and nice flavor, experience.

IMG_5288

Recipe

2 cups chopped cucumbers (I peeled the skin, but if I had Japanese or Armenian cucumbers I wouldn’t peel them.)

2 cups chopped heirloom tomatoes

1/2 cup chopped onions

1/4 cup laver seaweed (from Main Coast Sea Vegetables)

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

1/2 tsp spirulina

10-20 chamomile flowers.

salt and white pepper to taste

Blend it!

(I opt for white pepper because it’s healthier then black pepper, but you can use black pepper)

The seaweed is there for health reasons, but I also did a batch without the seaweed, and the taste was really nice, so it’s all an inspiration and a choice anyway.

Some day maybe I’ll get to have some fun all night adventure, road trip, and I’ll take some caffeine then, but when I drank it every day, I fell apart. I love being busy and handling a lot of things at once, but at this time in my life, within reason to what is healthful.

Recently, I’ve been making a banana smoothie in the morning with chamomile, pumpkin seeds, vanilla, and spirulina.

IMG_5265