Last week I mentioned that I was playing with which rules to follow and which to follow of my own. I know that other people have great insights, but ultimately I don’t feel a deeper sense of myself unless I’m following my own rules, even if someone is so certain that what they’re teaching is the right thing. I’ve had a really unique experience in this life. I mentioned to the Angel Warrior that I was breaking into “closed trails”. He said, “you make your own rules, you know that.”
Flowing with my Own Rules at Psychic School
Last night I was in psychic school with a group of Students in a reading space, where we all read one person. I’ve been way behind the rest of the class, as my recent capacity for time wouldn’t allow for it.
During the reading space I was exhausted. At a certain point I had no choice but to lay down and let go of the rules of sitting up in a chair with my feet on the ground. I didn’t visualize much. I was supposed to. I had to just let flow what felt right for me and chime in when I could. Sometimes, I didn’t listen, sometimes I did. I tried nothing, I just existed. I was supposed to do this or that, I wouldn’t unless I felt I could in certain little moments. I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
Finally, at the end of the session of all other psychics sharing their readings, one image came to me and I expressed it at the last moment. It felt right.
It was time to go to the clean out room, where we clear energy from the person we were reading and express reflections. As the teacher was guiding the process, all I could do at a certain point was dance. I could not sit there. I would not lay down nor would I sit in a chair with my feet on the ground. I just couldn’t. After three weeks of super hero work, it just wasn’t going to happen. My brain didn’t want to do it either. I began to realize that maybe flowing with my own rules in school was what I had to do.
My body moved and moved, I felt a lot of good energy flowing through me. As the teacher spoke and guided people through a meditation and visualization, I didn’t mind to do what she said. Instead, I felt it with all of my body, it came through me without me having to do anything. I felt the words a second before they were expressed and I moved with it. I became me.
At the end of the meditation the teacher said, (mind you this is over the phone, no one can see me)…. “And I see someone dancing and releasing and moving energy.”
“I was doing that.” I said as I validated her psychic insight. Well done on her part since I don’t know that that’s ever happened before, and she picked up on it.
I left class with the satisfaction knowing I was doing what felt right to me. I’ve done so for a long time, but being in school really made me feel like I had to try hard to follow rules. Some of them I will follow for sure. But for some, it was limiting me and brining me down. Instead of having and enjoying the experience the way I am meant to.
It reminded me of actually being in school. In art class I did my own thing. I had to. In Science class I markered my nose purple. In History class I wrote a story about purple elephants instead of an essay on the history of war. I don’t think the Teacher ever read it, because he showed it as an example to the whole class, stating that this was what he wanted to see. He was very proud of me because I had written two pages, most people wrote 2 paragraphs.
After class, I quickly got myself rose water at Erewhon in the last 2 minutes they were open, knowing I would make it just in time, and I took off to Old Topanga Canyon Rd. to listen to the frogs that I used to live next to. I used to fall asleep to their music every night that the creek was running. There’s something about listening to frogs that feels like beyond home. On the way home I saw a family with a bonfire in the middle of the night.
Tuning into Steve Jobs
I asked Steve Jobs a couple of weeks ago for some insight. It was one of the best channellings because it made so much sense and really hit my heart. At first his response was to tilt his head in the air with his hand up and say “be innovative”. I said, “Thank you, but I’m already innovative, I don’t need you to tell me that. What do you think Gene Wilder?”
So Steve transformed into a zip of energy across the long wooden table where we had sat next to each other. For a moment, I questioned what he was doing and I asked him, even though I trusted what was going on. “I’m trying to find a way to reach you that’s different.” he said. Then his energy body zipped over to hit my heart in a good way. My heart felt open. “People want to be a part of this. They want to be a part of you. So share with them your adventure so they can feel a part of it.” The adventure of the last few weeks have been so intense, scary, and fulfilling, that it will take time for me to share it all. I take video along the way.
Blowing Open My Heart
Sometimes I get telepathic messages from the Angel Warriors spirit. He doesn’t know it, but I don’t know anyone yet that has known when they are sending me messages. The Wizard Angel knew when it happened years ago with him once I explained it, but he didn’t know when it was happening. I question whether it’s me or them, but I’m certain it’s both. I don’t want anyone to feel strange about this, it’s just what happens. I imagine it’s hard for others to believe.
During the message, my heart blew up and I was in tears. It blew wide open. So wide open. I don’t want to hold onto anything. I want to feel that freedom. When he sends me the message, the people who have hurt me that day become just a being asking for love and I give it without caring what they’re doing. So free my heart feels, I don’t mind at all. It seems to be easier to carry that energy with someones help. It’s like all those people are asking for is to be loved; and they see me as strong enough to handle their pain.
But in those moments of dealing with someone, it feels awful. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve faced in this life. The Earth Angel has heard these stories many times before. One of them hurt me so deeply, that I got in the back of his truck and paced around to tell him all about it in the Erewhon parking lot. We used to be able to talk on the tables.
An hour before my heart blew open, there was a challenging situation. I looked at my trusted team mate, and said, “I don’t know why I chose this role in this lifetime? It’s a good one, but it’s tough.” I looked in his eyes deeply and felt that his spirit understood something higher than I’ve seen him see me before.
Life is a little messy for a moment.
I work hard to keep my immune system up while keeping up with the demand of customers. My already tiny, pretty little desk is full of a variety of herbal pills, and a little mess of papers. The roses on my altar have wilted and I haven’t replaced them yet. My nail polish is chipped. I have a piano at the foot of my bed with clothes and a ripped up pink hat on top of it. I laid on my bed today and burned sage and palo santo. My easel has a canvas that’s turned around the wrong side. This too shall pass. I’ll wake up in the morning, clean up, and create new magic.
Introducing the Magical Sphinx
A few weeks ago on instagram, I sent a picture saying I needed a bigger team. I didn’t expect it to happen so fast. I had no idea what was coming. Suddenly it happened. I’ve recently hired a team of about 10 different people on the weekends. I call them my Angel Team.
One of them is the Magical Sphinx, who quickly became my assistant. I don’t watch movies much, but a while back I happened to see the “Sex and the City” movie, and the only part I liked about it was when she found her God sent assistant. That’s who the sphinx is. I’m grateful for that. She flows with her own rules, and they’re good ones. She’s quarantined herself except for when she works with me on the weekends. She also volunteers to deliver essentials to people who can’t leave their home or afford our service @earthmatterz. So I told her I would pay her for that as my contribution.
I decided not to care what time I post my blog stories. Knowing that there are times of the day when it’s better to post, for more engagement…I’m not so sure that’s what I’m after. If one person reads this in the middle of the night and it came at the right timing for them, then it’s for those few people who flow with these messages in the time that they’re meant to.
I’m wishing all who read this the most magical day ahead. You’ll have it. Be Well,