Feeling Unseen

The New Face

This journey from painful and transformational times to becoming the Soup Sorceress began 7 years ago. In that time, I have overcome incredible obstacles to do what I believe in, and I finally got to this point: Literally, there were times I had to push my way through mazes, and I got out ok, tears and bruises later. Times where I thought I might not make it here today.

Recently, I asked my favorite artist, friend, and fellow blogger, Sean Colgin,  to do one very important thing on my logo. The face! The logo was incredible, but the face made me feel uncomfortable. It’s amazing how the littlest simple details in life can make a huge impact. His style is particularly special.

He drew 15 faces.

Now, my face is at the vibration that I have wanted it to be for years! Such auspicious timing and synchronistic compatibility with the Universe’s magical flow of events, was in alignment for a long time coming.

In the same timing my graphic designer redid the label design for me. (I had been using a label program for years and it was bothering me so much.) Finally I could pay a pro!

The universe had this planned. The new flavor I was guided to create, came in the timing that my new lovable face arrived! I feel a whole lot of lovable.

I thought I was going to make the strength broth, but the Universe had a better plan.

The Herbs Were Waiting for My Arrival

For over a year, every time I ran into Kerry (an Astrologer, and intuitive farmer) at Erewhon, we mentioned something here or there about what was on her farm. She was very mysterious about what herbs she had available to me.

I drove past her farm on my way to the ocean and almost stopped in. I decided I would likely see her the next day. It’s rare I see her at Erewhon at all, but somehow I knew. When I saw her at the Whon, we stopped for a moment.

“I just drove past your farm, and wanted to ask what herbs you have,”

“Wait a second, you had the intuition to come to my farm and you didn’t do it?”

I looked up and to the left.

“The answer isn’t over there, it’s right here.” She said as she guided my eyes back to hers.

“Well, I knew we would be here right now.”

At The Farm

Long story short, I drove to Zuma a few days later to go to the farm.

“Is Kerry here?” I told one of her helpers. 

“What company are you from?”

“Soup Sorceress. Do you have nettles right now?”

“No she’s out harvesting it, you can come back tomorrow for it.”

I asked again if I could wait a little longer for nettles. I wanted to make the Strength broth. “What other herbs do you have?”

The first herb he showed me was the one, I just didn’t know it yet.

“We have this one called lovage.”

After having a taste, I looked up on google about what it was good for. It’s used to attract more love.

I found lavender on the table, and there it was. The lovable broth was born. 

From the flavors: Cleansing, to Soothing, to Strength, to Happiness, to Lovable, my collection of broths were at it’s best point yet. Each one with a unique story of tears and love, guided by the essence of a world of dynamic synchronistic endeavors on various levels. 

I couldn’t wait to take the lovable broth to Erewhon! To say that this meant something to me is an understatement. Making the broth costs more money than what it’s being sold for. I do this because I believe in the magic of how I’ve been guided to create it and what it can do for the World. 

Where Did the Broth Go?

As soon as I walked in the store the next day, I knew something was off. Something told me that when I looked in the soup section where my broths are usually displayed, that they wouldn’t be there. Sure enough, they weren’t.

I took a moment as I began to feel strange fiery bubbling feelings in my heart, and I knew where to go. I quickly walked straight to the back of the store, where the bone broth is. And there I was. How would my vegan fans know where to find me now?

Going Backwards

My lovable broth that was years in the making ended up next to a pile of meat. Lol. I felt like I was going backwards in time.  My body and mind was scared that I had to work my way up to the ideal shelf again. How was I going to get myself through this one? I had already gotten through the hardest parts. Empowering new obstacles are one thing, but taking steps back is another.  

You know what else made me feel like I was going back in time? I remembered being in class in 2nd grade as we talked about the riots. I was so young I hardly understood what was going on but it felt sad. 

I went back to the soup section. Something snapped in me. I stared at those bottles of soup and just let the tears go. Happy to have a mask on, I didn’t move a muscle. 

All the grief came rushing up. So did the feelings about the reason I created this magic in the first place. And I just stood silent, staring at soups thinking about how many people feel like they’re unnoticed and unloved.

Does anyone else feel like we went back in time? It started out so surreal, with neighborhoods looking happy and people going outside on bikes and little power wheels cars. We greeted each other with real warmth, and said things like, “Stay healthy!” We made eye contact above our masks. It felt like the innocent days of my childhood. The vibration felt like a lot of health and kindness. And then violence broke out on the streets, and I was back in 2nd grade again, talking about the riots on the freeway. 

Looking at the soups through tear-streaked eyes, and butterfly sunglasses, not knowing how much mascara was all over my face, I thought about how many people feel invisible and angry. As my heartstrings were pulling, tightening, and feeling in disarray, I felt into what they may be feeling when they are feeling unseen.

Feeling Unseen

Peaceful and happy as I can be, when I feel unnoticed, or when I’ve given so much love and received a lot less back, there have been moments I’ve experienced a sense of unexplainable trauma inside of my body. As I stared at the soups, while grabbing a dragon fruit drink to make me feel better, I felt a flare of an emotional impulse, that I wasn’t sure what to do with yet. What action was I going to take? How would I trust the Universe in this moment, when I felt so lost?

I stood there thinking about all people who feel unseen, who don’t have access to magical food- or any food. People dealing with the crime brought on by poverty and desperation, and the terror from being occupied by an often brutal police force. And thinking about how many people have tried a lot in life and were still unseen. So they lash out. I stared at the soups and cried.

I let my tears be all over my face. I don’t hide them anymore.

Lightening Things Up

 I knew I would find the right guy to talk to and I immediately did! I walked over to the lovely man who handles shelf placement. I don’t always see him, but he was there at that moment. I mustered up the strength with mascara tears on my cheeks, to ask with joy and sweetness if my vegan broths could be moved to their usual place. He softly and kindly said. “Oh yes, someone just put them in the wrong spot, I’ll move it over! I know where they go.” 

I thanked him gratefully, and maybe even a lot more cheerfulness than necessary.

Sometimes we feel unnoticed/unseen, but there are solutions around the corner. It’s hard to know in those moments when we don’t feel good, it’s hard to know how the Universe has our back. And he was literally right behind my back at the right moment. Then I think about, what can we do to help other people so that we can dissolve this pain forever, and make the world feel better for everyone.

In that spirit, I bring you the Lovable Broth. It was created to generate love in you, so you know that you are lovable no matter what. It is symbolic of the journey of moving from a place of feeling unnoticed and unloved, to a place of empowerment. This is how I transform. It’s what I call Phoenixing.

Two days later the broth was in the soup section, but it’s even better than that. The broth is in both sections now. Next to the bone broth and the vegetable soups.

Spreading lots of lovability from one corner of the store to another. So lovable is everywhere for everyone. That’s a first for my broth and what great timing.

This is a picture of my friend Ashely who surprised me on instagram with this photo.

My friend Ashley, Actress and Mama….

This drink is my way of saying: I love you.

The shelf placement story was just symbolic to the journey, and it always works out better, even if there’s a moment of uncertainty.

I do my best to remember if I’m feeling down, “maybe this is planned to be better than you think it is, you just don’t know it yet.”

I made nothing of it, other than letting myself be alone and unseen. Allowing it, felt better than trying to be seen and not feeling good that I wasn’t seen.

Have a magical day, every day.

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