There are Angels Everywhere

The pink flowers wilted on my altar. I left them dried in their vase for over a week. It wasn’t like me. I can happily replace them on my own. The air felt that morning. I tried to catch the exact words for the feelings I was intuitively picking up on. I didn’t know how to respond, and to make things stranger, I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t crave my favorite pickles anymore. It was so disappointing, I really love those pickles.

The Universe has a plan. I knew there would be no fresh flowers coming to replace them. It was time to pluck them off their protective sepals and lay them on top of all the other wilted and dry petals. I placed a Jasper wand on top of them. I brought out the ocarina “lady muse”. I tried to meditate as usual but I couldn’t. I knew what was going to happen so I grabbed at my paper and pen to write. 

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“A dried flower is as beautiful as when it’s fresh. Letting go feels as good as the embrace.” And that leads me to begin this story with….

 

 

 

 

INTRODUCING THE VIKING ANGEL

As much as I resisted, in the midst of doing big important things, with an event coming up, I escaped from my focus on my work for a moment. I spent time with a Viking Angel by an oak tree under the Aries Full Moon. He’s an Angel that reminds me of a Viking in an Angelic way. He stands up for people any chance he gets, and once saved a Woman’s life, who was being stabbed by her boyfriend. As it happens, the event I’m preparing for is a fundraiser for victims of domestic violence.

 

He told me I wouldn’t have to worry about abuse again. Kind words, and I felt so good tears rolled down my face, though that was a decision I already made when my red hat was cut up. With him, I could feel the air around me as crisp, clear and safe. He gave me flowers, and more flowers.

20 years ago I injured my wrist, and after all those years of looking for natural solutions, and doing crazy things I wouldn’t recommend, it was time to go for surgery.

“I’m going to get wrist surgery this Friday”, I told him. He wanted to help.

THE HOSPITAL ANGELS

The Viking Angel picked me up to go to the hospital. Once I was settled, and in the room with the nurse, he left to go do more angelic earth work.

The nurse was an angel of comfort. I complimented her about it.

“My son has anxiety, so I really know how to make people feel comfortable in a room,” she said as she moved one thing here and there. Her quality of movements were energetic, and had less to do with what needed to be moved around. It just felt right.

After I answered all her questions, and it was almost time to be rolled out on the Hospital bed, I told her I was scared and nervous about the anesthesia. I began to curl up in fear. She stopped me.

In Hawaii

 

“Don’t go in there like that, or you’ll wake up not feeling good. Here look at this wallpaper, it’s Hawaii.”

Although, Hawaii sounded nice and maybe the kid like wallpaper could be helpful, I knew just what to do. So I texted the Earth Angel.

 

“Could you send me a picture of nature? I’m scared.”

 

 

Just in time, he got my message, and sent me a picture he took. I felt immediate peace.

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“Time to put your phone in the bag. You’re going to talk to the Anesthesiologist and then we’re going to roll you into another room.”

On the way, there were other people rolling around in Hospital beds. “Good Driving!” The nurses would say to each other. I felt safe hearing positive words.

The Anesthesia room was cold, with big machines, and huge circle lights over my head.  The Doctor was in the corner with a blanket covering herself. They gave me extra blankets which were fresh out of the dryer. Scary cold room, in other words.

A mask went over my face, as I awaited the “talk” with the anesthesiologist.

“It’s oxygen, you like oxygen right? breathe in and out.”

I questioned in my mind if this was really oxygen, then someone on my other side, began to stick a needle in me and told me to count to 10. At 7, they told me to count slower. My body was tingling, and all went black.

Waking Up in Unity Consciousness

The next thing I knew I was having a vivid dream with the Viking Angel. The dream was unusual, not very good, but somehow comforting at the same time. The dream faded into silence and I began to open my eyes and feel consciousness. My senses were unaware, yet very awakened to positive forces.

From across the room a Man said, “How are you feeling?” His back was turned from me.

“Good”, I said. I was being honest. I was happy to be waking up.

He asked a couple more questions, and I answered them so he could hear me. The sound of his voice had the reminiscence of what it would be like if he was right above me. I  began to be aware of the possibility that maybe he wasn’t talking to me. The Woman next to me was sort of muted, and in her own world. I began to sense in the ethers that from a higher consciousness level, she wasn’t responding to me yet, because there was a part of everyone in the room for a few moments that was aware of unity consciousness, just because I was aware of it.

The way I answered the questions was so positive, I wondered if it was happening because it would help the other patient in some way.

Finally, I answered one more question and felt some energy hit me a little. The questions weren’t for me.

“He’s talking to his patient.” The nurse next to me said, as I started to gain consciousness to realize I was in a room with other patients.

The Empathic Nurse

The next thing I knew I was in another room with a magical nurse at a computer, who had long wavy hair. Immediately, I felt a connection with her. She was empathic, kind, positive, and well functional. She said some things that blew my mind and warmed my heart. I realized, I was in the right place at the right time. With all my fears about what I just put myself through, she was a pleasant reminder that I was where I was supposed to be.

The Viking Angel came in with a warm, bright, compassionate look on his face. Our interaction was so kind and sweet, that the Empathic Nurse, had to share with us how much she liked us. We all shared stories.

The Viking Angel walked out while the Empathic Nurse and I exchanged some girly comments. For a moment, as I was still figuring out what was going on, I said, “where did he go?”

“He just went to get the car.” Suddenly, I felt so incredibly safe and cared for. She then wheeled me out in a chair, to his car. “Stay positive”, she assured me.

The Viking Angel and I spent the next few hours together, with some piano playing, a wild and hilarious moment at the store, sharing pears, and some tears telling stories in the backyard. Then it was time for me to be on my own. I felt like, if that was the last time I saw him, it was fine, I was sent an Angel to help me through the scary hospital day.

The Flowers were still living. 

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THE WHOLE FOODS ANGEL

“Could you get Grandma some orchids today?” My Aunt texted.

“Yes!”

We face-timed next to the orchids at Whole Foods, trying to decide which one to get. I didn’t realize I would end up with a large one and I didn’t have a cart. I wasn’t supposed to carry anything with my left hand. So I was holding an orchid, a spinach box, and a pear without causing too much a nuisance on my right hand. It was a little crazy.

I walked down the aisle wishing I had gotten a cart, “if only someone could give me a cart right now.” I felt like since I didn’t have someone with me, it would be so nice to feel that I’m being looked out for. My wrist was in no position to be doing what I was doing. Moments later, and I’m crying as I write this, you can guess what happened.

A humble man, came up behind me and rolled a cart over. “Here you go.”

I wasn’t aware yet of what was happening, so my timing of response was delayed.

“This is for you.” he said.

“Oh my God, thank you! I’m not supposed to carry anything with my right hand.”

“You’re welcome! I’m just buying soup!” He held up his big cup of soup in his hand. He didn’t need the cart. Soup was all he came there for. Or was he a spirit in human form who knew I was the Soup Sorceress?

“I needed that thank, thank you, I was just hoping.”

“There are Angels everywhere,” he said. Then he was off and I never saw him again. The way he walked away, felt like magic.

He was just buying soup with a big empty cart.

It was a moment I didn’t want to forget, as I got teary eyed that Angels were looking out for me.

MY LITTLE ANGEL MOMENT

Later that week, hand in pain; I walked outside the gate at a friends house, knowing I was walking out at just the right time for whatever reason. Across the street was an elderly Man carrying an insulated Trader Joes bag.

“Joe?!” I said.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I used to Art Model for you a decade ago.”

“Oh you look familiar. I’m much older now.”

I looked at his bag.

“Can I carry that for you?”

I knew Joes house, you have to walk a long way down steps and ramps to get to his little cabin by the creek. He almost didn’t let me help him.

“Are you sure? I’m happy to help.”

“I’m 96 years old”, he said. Then he let me help him.

“Are you sure? It’s really heavy.” he said.

With my right hand in a cast, “I still have one hand I can use right now, I can do it.” And we took a nice walk to his cabin to drop off his bag.

The Last Tea with the Viking Angel

I finally plucked the dried flowers that morning. 

We wanted to go to the annual Chili Cook Off, but when we arrived there was a sign showing it was postponed. We went to the Theatricum across the street, but they were busy and I couldn’t show him the big stage. We went to Mimosa Cafe and I pointed out the koi fish pond, but an animal had eaten all the the koi fish. It wasn’t the best time to have tea at Mimosa, it’s more fun in the morning. Amidst an important conversation, someone I knew walked towards us. I politely said hello. Not the best idea. He came back to ask us if we wanted to buy acid. I rolled my eyes inside, thinking, ” today just isn’t the best reflection of Topanga for the Viking Angel to see.” We politely declined his offer.

“Can I ask you guys a question?” He asked us, as he pulled up a chair.

“How long is this story? We’re right in the middle of a big conversation.” I said.

“It’s really quick. It’s really important. Why do girls like fat guys?” As he curled up his lips in anger. My body went tense. It was a terrible feeling, I didn’t like his language towards people one bit and the deep emotions running through him felt uncomfortable. I wanted to say, “because he treats her better than you do,” but I saved myself for better words and let the Viking Angel kindly send him away.

Release & Transform

I didn’t want to pick up a little card in the bowl on the counter at Mimosa, full of different words for you to look away and choose one to gain insight for the day. I stirred the cards and chose transformation. I was thinking, “oh god, really, again?” As a Scorpio, you get used to it over and over and over again. It’s a truly fantastic journey, but it’s frustrating too. I knew it was coming when I broke a rose quartz wand, and accidentally poked an eyeball with my hat.

After many words and long moments of silence, that was the day to let go of the Viking Angel and jump into my next portal of transformation the way a pheonixing Scorpio does. I am evolving my divine feminine more every day, and I love that.

 His soul is transforming to be the Man he’s meant to be. That’s why I had released his flower petals that morning. It’s time for him to travel to his next adventure of manly Angel Viking missions, so many miles away from here.

I’ll be there in spirit, sending the scary spiders outside and clearing away cobwebs for you.

He often said, “I’ll always protect you.” And this song was playing, here with me, that night, when he last messaged me. “goodnight, young beautiful sorceress.” There are many spirits protecting us, and those words he spoke, are a reflection of all those spirits, spoken by a human smiley face.

Goodbye young Viking Angel.

I’ll always remember that stool we both felt compelled to move at Erewhon, so it wouldn’t bother anyone else.

May all beings feel the magic in the air. May all beings be loved. My all beings feel safe to be themselves. May all beings transform. May all beings live in their truth and soul purpose. May all beings find magic in every day. May all beings have peace. May all beings be free. 

No soup recipe this time, it’s coming. I have a new broth batch at Erewhon in Calabasas, good for our immune system and intuition, something I was challenged with this last month.

 

In my silent quest to find better words in all situations, I dissolved this.

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The Cast and Halloween
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Cast was off right in time for Birthday dinner.

 

How to Harvest Roses and Make Rose Soup

In this post you’ll learn the benefit of the herbs I was guided to put together for my rose soup, and a story about the sacred journey of how this healing soup emerged. I hope it will inspire your own journey of gathering ingredients for a rose soup this Spring. It was a powerful experience. Below I share a link to a video where I explain a little more about that. As someone who is energetically sensitive and has struggled with how to manage it, this rose soup journey has been one of many steps forward. 

Rose and Nettles soup for Mothers Day. Grounding and revitalizing feminine strength. 

“Do you want to harvest roses with us?” Marysia our green witch guide said, as I was on my way out . Little did I know that when I innocently agreed, I was about to enter my next cosmic journey. I’m still writing about my last “midnight awakening journey.” I’ll share about it soon.

I was almost ready to leave the farm for the day, but I loved the idea of gathering a few roses. I didn’t even realize I was coming to the farm until the night before, when I was perplexed with a decision. I’ll backtrack into that a moment, it’s a good little part of the story and saved my life.

The Decision

The decision I made was about my wheel on my Subaru. It was cracked, and I didn’t know. Multiple little events in divine timing led me to my mechanic for an oil change, who noticed it and told me. “If you’re not gonna get the wheel today you need to at least rotate the wheels so that that wheel is in the back of the car. In case it breaks, it’ll be safer in the back than in the front.” That led me to Hanks Tires to rotate them.

At Hanks, a man named Sean said, “I’m not letting you leave here with that tire on. We’re not rotating them. We’re putting the spare on. You have to get a new wheel.”

They gave me no choice.

“If I rotate those tires and then let you go, I’ll go home feeling horrible thinking, I let that girl leave like that.” He went on to express just how dangerous a cracked tire is.

“You must’ve hit a pothole.”

“Ya I must’ve”, as I stood there silently, picturing the memory in my head of bumping up the side of the curve at Erewhon Market a couple months ago, thinking,“oh I must’ve did some damage” and then I moved on. These guys saved my life.

He sent me to get a wheel at the wheel store. It was 20 minutes before closing. I was faced with the decision to keep the spare on for the next 5 days and wait for a Subaru wheel to be shipped, or get the other brand that costs a little less, is the same size, and doesn’t match the rest of the  wheels on the car. While trying to make the decision, Alison from Plumcot farm called to invite me to the farm the next morning. My defining decision to drive around with a non matching wheel came down to that. I can’t drive to Malibu on a spare tire, and I don’t want to stop the flow of what’s happening here, so I got the non matching wheel. Feeling a little strange, I took off.

Had I not done that, I wouldn’t have ended up high on roses and making this magic healing soup, that’s in alignment with what I need right now. I remember around the time that I started to make decisions like that, and how that changed my life. If I had cared more about the social advantage of having matching wheels, I wouldn’t have ended up sniffing roses for an hour and healing a part of myself that has been asking to be healed. The cosmos came in at the right timing when Alison called, which helped me make my decision. 

Marysia connecting to roses.

Back to the rose story.

We walked to the roses, sat down, and Marysia began to explain that before we harvest, we would connect to the roses.       .

With her gentle guidance and our willingness to dive in, the roses pulled our faces into them, we were lost in the rose spirit for many minutes. The scent was so strong. Each of us connecting to a different bush, a different color. The scent pulled me in so deeply, my whole body fell into it’s vortex. I breathed deeply. I felt connected to it and I kept feeling. We all stopped at the same time and shared what was on our mind. 

She gave us some leaves of a plant, so that we could give back a gift to the roses after we harvested. We spent an hour, making love to roses, laughing, and harvesting them. To harvest them, we gently pulled the petals off. Then we snipped the stem off in a slant, close to a leaf stem. 

Each color bush had its own name which intensified the experience.

Examples:

Heart of Innocence

Heaven on Earth

Wise Woman

Wild Blue Yonder (this is what I used for soup)

 

 

 

Marysia Miernowska of “The Gaia School of Healing California”

At a certain point we realized we all felt like we were on a psychedelic, or more like we expressed why we didn’t need psychedelics because it’s so easy for us to access those states. We were in another dimension. It was a little like going to “Alice in Wonderland.” on Plumcot Farm.  

 

 

 

Imagine if every billboard that was promoting a cannabis company was actually promoting a new small, biodynamic farm, with beautiful pictures of colorful produce and flowers. If growing more small farms, was as popular, profitable,  and as well promoted as CBD, the world would totally change.  I’ll explain more about that in my next post. 🙂

I decided to make a rose and nettle soup. I asked Marysia her thoughts. She runs “The Gaia School of Healing California.” (I highly recommend her course.)

 

She also has a little shop in Topanga, called “Wild Love Apothecary”, where you can pick up dried herbs and talk to green witch specialists. 

 

 

I’m still a young Sorceress and I have much to learn about this adventure that I’ve been guided into over the years. Marysia taught me some things about the plants that I wanted to make a soup with, as I pondered which ingredients I wanted to put together.

The Benefits of Roses, Nettles, and Burdock

“What do you think about the healing combination of rose and nettles?”, I said.

“That’s great together, yes. Nettles helps us receive the deep nourishment and wild vitality of the earth mother. Roses opens are heart and unconditional and divine love.”

She also suggested I use burdock. I wasn’t surprised this came up. Burdock has a symbolic meaning for me in healing relationship with Men. When she said that, I knew it was time for me to invite burdock into the soup, especially with Mothers Day coming up, it was the right timing.

This is like the next chapter after I had done the liver cleanse, which I also called the lovers cleanse. I’ll get more into that when I bring up my soup journey event, “Soup Revitalize” as opposed to a “Soup Cleanse”.

Burdock is a nourishing root, high in minerals, enzymes, and vitamins. It cleanses the lymph, it’s grounding and nourishing.”

I’m in constant reflection with grounding and calming my nervous system. I’ve come a long way with it and I loved the idea of using burdock to help.

Wild Love Apothecary Shop

 

I asked the Earth Angel to pick up burdock for me in our little town magic shop.

When he was there a fellow Topangan asked him, “what are you getting?”

I’m getting some burdock for a friend.” said the Earth Angel

“Oh, sounds like a Kali order.”

That’s right. 🙂

I think you can agree from the photo, this rose soup really transformed into a real deal green witch soup. There’s so much I’m not in control of, I’m just watching it happen. 

Here’s the soup, if you would like to try something like it.

May all beings stop to smell the roses. May all beings experience realms of time and space that nourish, revitalize, and inspire us. May all beings have access to the world’s best plant medicines.

 

 

The Soup

You can also click here to see what I did in a short video, and I explain how these herbs helped me.

 

~First, I made an overnight infusion with mullen, geranium, sage, and burdock. To make an overnight infusion, I just poured hot water into the mason jar with the herbs in it and left it out all night. Not in the fridge. This would be the broth. 

 

~In the morning, I discarded the herbs and pureed the liquid and the burdock, with the fresh rose, nettle leaves, purple snap pea flowers, chocolate mint, and lemon balm.

 

~I simmered that with scallions, basil and zucchini, and then used a stainless steel hand mixer to blend the ingredients. Then I added seaweed, salt, and other spices.

 

~The salad you see on top of the soup is how I like to add toppings, raw kohlrabi and watermelon radish with olive oil. I also added spicy pickled snap peas. Give your soup a fresh crunch! If I had a soup shop I would have various ingredients you could put on top like you do for ice cream, accept you would be eating medicine instead of sugar and have fun with it. 🙂

 Happy Mothers Day

Lastly, I want to say Happy Mothers Day, and share how blessed I feel to have such an incredible, creative, polite, intelligent, teenage Son who continues to impress everyone around him.

 

Treating myself to a flower bath for Mothers Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dissolving Disempowered Thoughts

How I survived the Wild Month of February

It’s been a traumatic month. It was the month of the Burn, the Rash, and the Theft. I got a second degree burn, a big poison oak rash, and someone stole from my business. It left me wounded, scarred, and broken, adding layers to my recent evolution.

One night I was woke up in a powerful trance state at 1:30am. I heard these words, and wrote them down exactly as they were dropped like a water leak into my mind:

“Notice the power of the illusion of acting on a disempowered thought, based in a reality of time and space that doesn’t feel worth it’s presence in your right mind. Believe in its presence, and hold space that there’s a new more empowering thought arising in the shadows and depths of your soul.”

Spirit Drunk

I thought things were on their way up in my life. I was feeling good. I had just recently revived my health after a period of thinking I was dying. I was getting energy to exercise again. All my time researching and working on my health and my intuition was working.

At the beginning of the month, I felt like I was drunk on spirit. It was both exhilarating and confusing. I don’t know how to explain that, except to say that my ring flew off my hand as I tripped over my own foot. Stuff like that kept happening.

You know those dreams when you’re falling down a hole, and your body actually feels like it’s falling, and your body shocks itself awake? I had that, but I was tying a shoe and tripping over it. It was extremely vivid. It felt kind of like a lucid dream state, but it was different.

I went back to improv class during this time. I’m in a place of such heightened sensitivity that when my improv teacher told us he was hung over, I felt drunk! The whole class I was giggling nonstop and even hiccuping. It was so bad that the woman doing a scene with me made use of it and directed the scene into me being drunk. Which worked out quite well since we were talking about what to do with a blender. “There’s a rehab next door, I think you should go in that direction.” Good line…

Broth Burn

The burn happened 4 days later. I’m convinced this was due to the presence of confused, disempowering thoughts going on.

I didn’t listen to an important voice.

Something told me not to wear those pants with holes on the legs, that morning. The voice said, “No, don’t do it!”

I didn’t need to know why I was supposed to listen to that voice, I just simply needed to listen; but, I was in a rush to get my son to school, so I just left. I could have still listened to my instinct and looked for different pants. I don’t even really like those pants!

So the broth splashed and of course it landed right on the exposed part of my leg. And it hurt. A lot. I screamed like crazy.

My son looked on Google and told me to run cold water in the bath for 20 minutes. I took this photo because there was a part of me that was elated, the pain a reminder of my alive-ness. I was in pain and at the same time feeling blessed it wasn’t worse.

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The Burn is Above my Right Knee. I tried to look like I was comfortable in the snow, I almost had it!

To be honest, when I burned myself, I was more concerned about the aesthetics than the pain. What about those cute shorts I wanted to buy? Or that mini skirt I made, looking forward to the summer. What if I could never art model again or take naked photos? So I took some naked photos* in the snow, and chilled out.

I realize now, some weeks later, that what the Burn gave me was not just a scar– it was a mark that reminds me that I’m a woman who will pick up the pieces, dust myself off, believe, and move forward in ways I never imagined. And for that I am incredibly grateful.

Acting Rashly

The same day I burned myself, I was attacked with poison oak all over my lower back, and a spot on my butt and arm! It’s a pain I would not wish on anyone! Both of these mistakes could’ve been avoided, but I’m a soul rebel, braving the wilderness, and I can get a little nonsensical at times.  

With a little help from my men…

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Print from my Uncle Judson Huss.

I have a deep appreciation for wonderful Men. Soup Sorcery has a lot to do with the inspiration of Men in my life, each one pivotal, life changing, and magic. In fact, what got me through were some spectacular Men: my Son, my Brother, the Earth Angel, and the Faun.

No one yelled at me, ignored me, or lectured me about how stupid I was for getting burned. No one hit me on the head. They helped me, and I didn’t do it all on my own. I felt safe.

The Earth Angel picked up aloe vera for me when Erewhon ran out, and I couldn’t bear to drive anymore. He skillfully and perfectly dripped aloe vera on my burn, then wrapped it gently.

Noticing my sadness while he wrapped my leg, he said, “It’s ok, just imagine all the good surprises in life that haven’t happened yet.” He gave me a shoulder to cry on.

“Do you want a tissue?” he asked.

I answered, “I already used your shirt. Sorry.” He just continued to hold loving space.

He brought me soup and an immune booster, and talked to me for half an hour while I had the flu. I sent the Earth Angel off with some wellness formula, hoping he wouldn’t catch my flu (He didn’t).

He brought me to dinner at his friends’ house, where they gave me some of their homemade colloidal silver. I honestly don’t know what good colloidal silver does, but the sensation of the gift felt powerful and amazing. 

The Vegetable Thief

Okay, so before I said I would wish poison oak pain on no one, but if I were inclined to do so, there’s someone who could probably roll in it covered in super glue, he made me so mad…

Though I was experiencing the pain of the burn and the poison oak, I continued to do business as I always do. One of the drivers that I hire weekly, had to cancel one week, and I was scrapped to find a driver on craigslist. He seemed like a nice person, so I didn’t read the red flags correctly. I was in pain and needed help! So I sent him off with $800 worth of produce boxes, and a check to deliver them. Then I didn’t hear from him all day, or that night. He blocked my number.

At first I didn’t know if he was in an accident or something else happened. My Psychic tuned in and said that the guy was someone who made erratic decisions. I thought, “either he made an erratic decision and crashed, or he made an erratic decision and stole vegetables.” The Earth Angel called him the next day, and the guy answered, then hung up when he told him he was calling on my behalf. So that ruled out the accident, plus he cashed the check before I canceled it. 

My friend the Faun called him several times and left messages, and found a picture of him for me so I could identify him to the authorities. My Brother, who had adamantly and skillfully fixed the security camera a week before the incident, sent me the pictures of the guy’s car and license plate. I have this image in my mind, watching my brother fix the wires, and telling me how important it was that he do this before he left town, and in my mind I was questioning why. Everything was ready for the police report, the camera shots were important. 

I had no choice but to email my customers and be honest. I wrote:

“I’ve never experienced this in my 8 years doing this little business. I’ve always followed through at every challenge. I count on being able to make the basic expenses of this business. In order for me to continue, I have to ask if any of you are willing to take soup credits instead of a refund. I would greatly appreciate it.”

Some people donated, some people needed a refund, and about half of the people took soup credits. A few people canceled. That’s business. I am incredibly grateful to my wonderful customers.

But I was so inspired by the kindness of my customers, and felt so protected by the my Angel men, it blasted me out of my pain. Not that I didn’t feel it. I was just so relieved to feel safe, after so many years in a fight or flight stance.

So, while I don’t wish poison oak pain (or any pain!) on anyone, I won’t be mad if the Vegetable Thief were to get a persistent itch that he can’t quite reach.

Honestly, it was thanks to the Men who stepped in that I was able to handle this situation with authenticity and elegance.

Note to the thief: My Son suffers from physical pain, in which he sees specialists for. I work with what I have to make that possible. It’s not easy. I worked crazy hours and put up with so many challenges to keep my businesses. I hold space for everyones growth and encourage you to reach out to the Detective, and work on paying back the funds.

Gettin’ Back On That Horse IMG_7772

That night I decided it was time to go back to dance class for the first time in three months. I just knew it was time. They were surprised and happy to see me. I told them my story, and about how inspired I was by all the people that made me feel better.

The dance class was full of spirit that day. They danced so well and said things like, “Be like Kali, get back on that horse!”

I also went back to improv class. No more hiding, it’s time to get back out there! My friends there were really mad at the thief on my behalf. Like they were channeling all that anger I was too afraid to express. My dear friend Lana said, “Let’s call him and make him fall in love with us, and then crush his heart!” I felt like I had a team of improvising Topanga townspeople ready with pitchforks.

Erewhon In Retrograde

Each time I go to Erewhon now it gets bigger, brighter, and more interesting– and my broths were nowhere to be seen! They had moved things around. Another Angel, is my friend who’s the Vice President of Erewhon and runs the Calabasas store. We looked around for the broths. They have been selling out much quicker lately. People love the shitake and sage broth. “It would be great if you could put my broths in your fresh soup section.”

Victor rolled his eyes and tilted his head to the side. I said, “I know, I know I’m always pushing, but if I don’t say anything, who will?” He agreed about that. I told him, “Mercury goes retrograde in Pisces tomorrow.”

He got a look of concern. “I’m Pisces, is that bad?” “No it’s great, Pisces are the best. But I can’t find my broth on your shelves and my keys have gone missing.”

We’ll see where I end up in the store next…

For anyone who wants to learn more about the retrograde in Pisces, I recommend my astrologists video. Follow her channel!

Unity Consciousness

I found my keys. They were in my car like I had predicted, or more like it was common sense. I began to walk back in the store to talk to a Chef Friend who recently did a video for me at Erewhon, and her presence helped me to remind myself, “Ok now, get into unity consciousness.” I then heard whistling and my name being called out. I turned around, and there was the Man I needed to talk to today. We had scheduled a call for later in the day, without a specific time, about an event we’re doing together, but here we were now.

I showed him the burn on my leg. “You know that the burn makes you even better right? Sexier. You know you’re very sexy right?”

“Yes, I do.” I answered. “But I don’t like the burn. It doesn’t make me feel more sexy.” I just could not yet be ok with this new burn and poison oak scars.

On my way home, I wept in gratitude for all the unexpected kindness from the Angel Men, that came from all this stress and scary stuff. The tears were healing, dissolving disempowering thoughts and transforming them into empowered thoughts. Remembering the words I had woken up to (written in the beginning of this post), I feel a deeper and richer sense of empowerment.

I have many scars. I don’t have to like them. But they are there to remind me of what I survived and I love that.  It’s perfectly imperfect. Like me. Not that I like imperfections, but I can love them.

And Finally, Soup!

During all this insanity, I got the Earth Angel’s soup recipe. It will open your sinuses and blast open your heart like everyone did for me in the brutal month that was February 2019 in the life of the Soup Sorceress.

Incantation:

May all beings feel safe. May all beings attune to unity consciousness.  May all beings grow. May all beings be free. May all beings warm their heart and soul. May all beings see the choice to turn painful emotions into magic. Thank you Angel Men, I love you all. Happy International Women’s Day, thank you for helping me feel a little safer. 

Earth Angel Soup

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Ingredients:

Water

½ or ¾ lb Red Lentils

About the same amount of Brown Rice

Basket of Mushrooms

Broccoli

Kale

Bell Pepper

Jalapenos (chopped tiny)

Ginger (chopped tiny)

Turmeric Powder

Add more water as needed

Salt to taste (Hint: He adds too much.)

Raw, Thinly Sliced Onions on Top

Add avocado cubes at the end.
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In order to get the right amount of ginger and jalapeno to be the amount he uses, look at the picture. He uses one to two jalapenos that size. Just one ginger that size.

With soups like this, I let the rice, lentils, ginger, jalapeno, and turmeric cook for 20 or 30 minutes, then add mushrooms. You add the broccoli in the last 5 or 10 minutes of the total cooking time, and then add the kale once you turn off the heat. Bell Pepper can go in whenever you want, depending on how much crunch you want.

 

Alice in Topangaland

Recently I came to a realization: that I had chased a big white rabbit, fell into its hole for many years, and was pulled out by a caterpillar.

When I shared this with my astrologer friend Alex, she said, “I know, I watched it happen.” And my thought was, “I know, I watched you watch it happen and I had a real enjoyment knowing you could see!” She wasn’t there from the beginning, but she caught on when she did, and popped in and out in such delightful timing. One time, she popped in while I was hiking. “Kali!?” I was overjoyed! It’s easy to spot a red hat in the forest.

I showed her the direction where the secret spot for a lot of pearly everlasting exists. Turns out, it was both our favorite flower, and she’d been dying to know the name of it. I said, “it smells like heaven orange”, she said, “it’s definitely waffles and maple syrup”. We’re both right!

I have journeyed like a lost Alice, pain in my heart and soul, ready to heal. And yes, I was chased by cards with swords (It’s complicated to explain who had the cards and who had the swords- but they were there).

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Coincidentally (or not) I played Alice in a play when I was 9. It was a great role for me, but I so wanted to be one of the Orphans. The Orphans were a room full of my Acting class friends, and playing Alice felt pretty lonely.  I only got to dialogue with, grown up Actors, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Not getting to be one of the Orphans with all my friends, who intuitively shared dreams together in the night, felt a little like I do now; a lonely Alice. The play was called Orphan Dreams, Directed by Elisabeth Brooks, and I was Alice in Wonderland in one of the dreams.

When I was 20, I was in the movie The Helix, which was a spoof of The Matrix. You can see it on YouTube, starring Vanilla Ice. I played a prostitute, and my soon-to-be-first-husband played The Rabbit, in a rabbit suit, in one of the scenes. A lot happened behind the scenes of the film. It was pretty hilarious. I won’t get into the story about the Hulk, or what we did with the Rabbit head in Venice Beach. Just know that I followed that bouncy Rabbit down the rabbit hole.

My friend Corey and I ran into Laurence Fishburne in Venice during the making of the film, and told him about that Matrix spoof. He was very nice about it, and told us to be careful crossing the street. We were.

Then there was this music video I did when I was 19, which reminded me of a life experience years later. It was so strange to uncover this video, and realize how similar the video was to a future experience. As a method actress, I guess I was drawing on future experience rather than past experience, as one would expect. But time is relative anyway, so I guess that makes sense.

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Luckily for me, not all of the films or plays I did had immediate relevance to my life away from the stage or camera; otherwise I’d be dead at 15, survived tackling a vampire, I’d be Helen Keller, a prostitute in downtown, and a lesbian talking to an imaginary girlfriend in a pink and white striped sweater. And I’d have been caught sucking on a frozen popsicle on the Playboy channel (Oops! Actually, that was a reality show and that did happen).

Just a day after writing this, I was in the parking lot of Mimosa Cafe when I looked at the car parked next to me and saw a pink and white striped fabric. I thought, oh that kinda looks like that sweater I was talking about. Wait, that’s pretty much exactly like the fabric of the sweater I was talking about.

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What I want to know is what this random chicken egg was doing in the forest, why it was still there yesterday, and why I’m craving chicken when I stopped eating meat? I was told a story this morning about a girl named Love Chicken. And why last night I was intuitively guided to notice an egg in one of my Uncle’s paintings. And then, sadly, I saw a road kill chicken on the freeway today. It had quite beautiful feathers. This may be why people think I’m high all the time, but the reality is I don’t use weed, hallucinogens, alcohol, nothing. I can’t even eat chocolate without shaking!

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There was a time when I used to think shrooms should be micro-dosed daily. I didn’t do the experiment, I just thought people would like it better than coffee. That was before I was pregnant  with my Son, and began waking up in incredible trance states of awareness that were totally natural to me. I was young and enthused by the discovery of the magic mushrooms. The things I saw, the things I did… it was all pretty interesting.

Have you ever been sucked up a portal? There’s nothing like that sound and the way people look, when you’re watching them from above and inside a portal. It’s like a tube mirror (while feeling the sucking feeling of the tube) that distorts their face, a little like they’re the one in the portal getting their face sucked in the air. This is not an easy experience to explain; I’ve really tried.

Through my own experience, I believe that we can achieve great states of consciousness without the help of the more intense plant medicines. I especially felt that way when I was pregnant, waking up in wild, hyperactive states of consciousness.

Like that time I did a liver flush and I went from feeling low and not so good, pretty weak, and, as you can see in the middle of the video, I go into a trance where I talk about purple stars, and at the end of the video I look pretty lit up. This was over about a 2-week period of time. 8 days for the flush. My Brother said, “maybe you’re cleansing the ‘shrooms from your liver.” It definitely felt like it.

I’m already so sensitive to everything and everyone, that I can really feel it if they are taking anything. If people are drunk, I feel it,  and in some cases, even have fun without the painful effects on my body.

And all I can say now is, there was a time I left behind some shoes as a symbolic representation, actually two times now, once with the caterpillar, once with the Rabbit, and today I have new shoes. The best, most comfy ones so far. I think that about sums up years of pain, struggle, and heartbreak. More will be revealed.

May all beings be free of pain. May all beings be well fed. May all beings climb out of the pain of loneliness. May all beings find safety. May all beings be blessed, especially my son’s cat! That miracle cat might be the next story.

 

Stay tuned…

Love,

The Soup Sorceress

MOMENTS FROM THE EVOLUTION OF THE SOUP SORCERESS

 

The First Soup:

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I was 11 years old when I made my first soup.  

It was a simple recipe from the American Girls Molly’s Cookbook. I was so excited. I clearly remember the love I felt cutting each vegetable and putting it into the pot. I took each step seriously. Looking back now, after a lot more experience,  I’m happy to say I don’t think it wasn’t a good soup recipe.

These days the cutting of vegetables doesn’t give me the same pleasure, because I make soups on a slightly bigger scale. I also don’t really do recipes anymore, I create synchronistically, which is far more satisfying.

First Lesson From The Soup Man:

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I was 16 years old, visiting New York City for the first time on a school trip with my Counselor, Ms. D, who was also a psychic, and my friend Rosemary (what a great name). We went to the Soup Kitchen International soup shop on West 55th street made famous as Seinfeld’s “Soup Nazi”: “No soup for you!”

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Rosemary

I waited in that long New York City lunch-rush line, and for the life of me I couldn’t find the signs for the soup flavors. When it was my turn, I walked up to the counter and innocently asked the Soup Man what soups he had. He immediately yelled, “next!” It broke my heart a little, and I stepped aside. I finally found the signs describing the flavors, and I waited my turn again.                

Once that initial pain in my heart came up when he said “next”, like I was just a foolish teenager from the valley of LA on a School Thespians trip,  I immediately felt a real sense of appreciation for what he had done. I liked his boundary, it was an impactful moment of growth for me. Once I got serious about soup, 15 years later, I understood even better, why he reacted that way. It’s a work that’s easily taken for granted.

I speak positively of the Soup Man, in relation to a set of experiences that taught me about boundaries, and the positive effect it has on the integrity of soups and life. I feel like I know how he felt. He’s the OG Soup Man!

I’m one to be very serious about what goes in the pot, more than anything, in regards to where I’m sourcing my vegetables.

The First Sorceress Hats:

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Cafe Mimosa in Topanga,  is where I first started selling soups, thanks to the wonderful owner Claire who supports locals, and has a heart of gold. One of my intentions for doing it came from the desire to make more friends, and I did. A couple years ago, I was sitting at the Cafe, very stressed, because I needed help getting to the next level. I had many people telling me the soups were the best, and I was trying so hard to get across to everyone the difference between large farm organic and small farm organic, and why it mattered to me, without being boring, and somehow having the proper promotional material, on a no more budget left to do it scenario. All the money went into the pot. I needed help.  It was an interesting sort of stress, because, while I felt horrible, I was also aware that the discomfort had put me into a heightened state of awareness, like I was leaning over the edge of a cliff.

My friend Joseph the tarot reader entered and sat down next to me. It had been about 10 years since I let someone else read tarot for me. I trusted in the synchronicity. I was delighted by the things he picked up on. He mentioned my Uncle, my Grandfather (my “Papa”), and what to do next.

One of my regrets was that I didn’t go visit my Papa before he transitioned, even though he lived a mere 20 minutes away in the Pacific Palisades, because having a Son, I was concerned with spending the gas money. Joseph told me my Papa was with me. I told him, “I know”.  Joseph also said, “Deceased elders want to see their lineage connect”. So I set off on a drive by myself, in spite of the gas money and 6 hour drive, to visit my Aunt in San Mateo. I hadn’t done anything like that for myself in many years. Being a Mother and Wife, my main focus was them, and their needs, not what I wanted to do. I just wanted to take a little trip, feel a different environment, and see my Aunts.

There was a black hat laying perfectly flat on the dresser of the guest room. I looked at that hat a lot, throughout the short visit. I could tell it was my Grandmother’s hat, who lives in LA. I could feel it in me, that I was supposed to wear that hat, it was the right timing. I didn’t have any hats, I wanted a hat for a long time, and that one was like a Sorceress hat.

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I walked out of the house with it on my head, and kept wearing it almost every day. It was transforming. I just knew it was there to be the next phase in awakening this character. It was also the house where the Cambpells soup lithographs are.

A quick background on the pictures. My Papa had fine art on his walls, including my Uncle Judson Huss, and the Andy Warhol lithographs of Campbells Soup cans. We just never understood why anyone would put those cans on their walls. I did eat a lot of Campbells tomato soup when I was a kid. Then, later in life, I became absolutely, positively, without a doubt in my mind, very serious about creating the best, most healthful, organic soups imaginable. Those lithographs are at my Aunt’s house now. 

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It’s funny to think about these things, because that soup can was dialed into my subconscious since I was a wee one. So were my Uncles paintings, which had a huge impact on how I create in all areas of my life. The way he authentically and intuitively portrayed creatures in the world was very real for me. 

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The Red Hat: Last Christmas, I opened my Aunts gift. She sent me two hats made of wool! I was really impressed with how she found those hats in particular, and that she cared enough to understand how special that would be for me. I pulled out the red hat while we were on facetime. We were both uncertain. She made a strange look on her face, and my Mom tried to play it off like she thought it was pretty. It was a strange moment, because my Aunt didn’t realize it would be so red.

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By the next day, I embraced the red redness, ended up loving it, wore it almost every single day, and everywhere I go someone loves the hat. There was so much power in it, and radiance. It flew off my head a few times. I danced in the rain in the middle of a random summer storm with it on. I’ve been stopped over and over just to talk about the hat. The hat was cut into shreds in front of me, piece by piece by piece, like shards of glass, which shortly after, led to my separation. He said, “you’re secretive, you’re just hiding behind this hat”, and some other things most of which were too hurtful and ridiculous to share. I bought a new one after that, but it wasn’t the same, just close enough. It reminded me of my first little heartbreak as a teenager, when I bought myself a red suede long jacket to celebrate my next phase in life. It’s also a little like the moment The Soup Man hurt my feelings, and I was into the next phase. A separation is much more complicated, frightening, and impactful, but I see these moments as the pivotal ones. 

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(Topanga Sage in the Hat.)

To red hats, transformations, Campbells shitty red tomato soup, to my Uncles Incredible Art, my Papas awesome taste, my Grandmothers taste in hats, my Aunts hospitality, to Joseph who read my tarot and told me my soups were medicine, to Mimosa Cafe, to the end of a cycle when the hat was in pieces. And dancing with the new hat in the storm, thanks to Topanga Magic. And heart breaks that break the spells of the past and forward us into the next paradigm. May all beings be blessed, and free to express their heart and spirit in its whole, complete form.

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There are more scenes like this, there’s more to share, there’s more to create. I left behind a sinking pirate ship, and I’m still shaking outside of the cold water, with the courage to get through battles and healing, I never saw coming. And I’m good at seeing things coming, so long as it’s day by day.

Rainbow Tower Salad

If you want toasted sesame seeds, make sure to toast them yourself, instead of buying them toasted. They are so much more delicious! It’s worth the minute.

Have you ever been through a long period of time that feels like it may never end, that was so devastating, you lost inspiration?

I tried to reach at my inspiration again. Where was it? I was too devastated. I was curled into a ball, crying, imagining, resting, and healing. Each step of healing was a reason to celebrate. I really did. The way I used to get my inspiration was changing.

Food changed. I used to do so many experiments, whatever came to my mind each day. I ran out of the budget to do that, and even a kitchen.

I landed in a kitchen, where I was yelled at for being specific about my food choices.

And the inspiration just kept wilting, the sadness and pain improved.

For the sake of my health, and lowering food costs and mess in the kitchen, I began to eat extremely specific and minimally. I could feel my body vibrating more clearly, as I spent four months this way. I felt like I was failing as a cook though.

Everything I thought I was doing right, and how I was on the way up, was put away. Part of my path was to see things in a new way, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I almost forgot that spirit was guiding me when I created all those crazy soups. Mixed with my own creative impulses, and ability to listen, take signs, use what I had available, share resources, on and on, but most importantly, was to realize that the whole journey started because I decided to let go and let spirit guide me. Taking a hike every day was essential.

Only recently, like today, have I realized, some of these important cosmic memories.

I was sick of soup, and taking pictures of soups. I wanted to like it, but I didn’t feel good about it. The world wasn’t exciting, and I didn’t have my own kitchen to harness my magic in. Have you ever gotten sick of hearing the same songs? Even though all the soups were different, it felt like the same songs. Nothing really wrong with the song, but you just don’t feel it anymore. It’s not the songs fault. What’s actually happening, is that I’m waiting for the next evolvement to happen.

Here’s the recent things that inspired this today.

Today, someone asked me, “is all you cook soup”?!  I was thinking, oh my gosh, I am so much more creative then this, why am I trying to play it off like I’m just doing soups, or even just cooking, for the sake of trying to make my instagram all about soups, so that I could be consistent.

I bought a papaya for this salad. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I can’t remember the last time I bought a papaya, except a babaco papaya from a local farm. I bought one at Whole Foods today. It felt good not to be so concerned about it, and just accept that sometimes I’ll add a non local ingredient.

I started making croissants for a friend who helped me in huge ways, confirm what I had been saying silently in my mind, which was awakening and heart wrenchingly challenging, in a way that only he could do. It’s inspired me because it took me out of my fears of using certain food ingredients, reminded me that I have the ability to be calm and patient, feel my body again, and I’m doing something that is new and enjoyable with food, instead of trying to just perfect soups. It’s a pattern interrupt, which helps to re-enliven things.

I did it for myself. The nature of cooking for other people is that they’re paying for it, so you want to please them. I’ve gone into this new thing, even when I’m making food for someone else, that, I’m pleasing myself while making it. It feels better.

I remembered the reason I was inspired in cooking. It was the connections, the friendships, the stories, the feelings, the symbols, creatures, attitudes, the evolvement of seeing myself in new ways, synchronicity’s, and creating new characters in me. And when that was taken away from me, and I thought I was dying, what could I do then besides accept and heal.

Sometimes it’s easier to silently forgive someone for acting in an un-evolved, hurtful way, then to have to explain anything to them. I know that they don’t actually want to respond that way. It’s ok to have boundaries, to take space without reason, it’s ok not to respond, it’s ok to shake your booty any time you want to. Things look scary, but I’ve had to take a risk at having boundaries. I had to jump off a cliff, let the tower crumble, and burn the pedestal. There was something that everyone did right.

And that’s how I came up with this thai inspired salad today. It’s not soup! I blessed the salad before I took the picture, and then again after I took the picture. I just can’t help but to feel that every time I take the picture I want to honor the food, and then recharge it again because I just took a piece of it’s soul when I took the picture.

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Ingredients: Red Cabbage, Papaya Chunks, Fermented Watermelon Radish, Paper Thin Sliced Cucumbers.

Dressing: 1 bunch cilantro, olive oil, fermented turmeric sauce (available at www.savraw.com), smoked sea salt, black pepper, chipotle powder, chili powder, lime juice, mustard, and a little juice from the fermented watermelon radish.

Shower the tower in freshly toasted sesame seeds. Eat the rainbow tower, be grateful. 🙂

 

 

 

 

Cecilias Pot

Our first two years in Topanga, we lived in a large trailer on a thirteen acre property. It wasn’t easy living in a trailer, but we had the advantage of being in nature, right close to the creek, with the enchanting sounds of frogs at night, and so much space to roam. There were about 10 other living spaces around, like a little village. It was a dream come true to finally live in Topanga, and raise our son Zane there. He was only 3 at the time, so though our living space wasn’t comfortable, we had a fun and inspiring environment amongst friends. Most importantly, we were surrounded in nature. We were living amongst a group of people who loved to garden, cook, create, dance, dress up, swing on a flying hoop in the main living room, and encourage and inspire each other.

Zane was having nightmares, and I was at a loss for how to stop them. I remembered a time when my little brother was having bad dreams. I shared a room with him and he used to talk in his sleep, so I knew the nightmares were very intense. One night, my mother attempted to stop them. She put herself into his dream in order to pull him out of it. While Zane’s nightmares were not as bad as my brother’s, they were still going on.

 

A member of our village invited a Chumash Medicine Woman named Cecilia to stay on the land a couple months. The Chumash were the original inhabitants of this part of the California coast, from San Luis Obispo to LA County. She offered gifts of healing and nature walks, where she taught us about the local plants- what plants could be used as food, and what plants were medicine. Every day was a wonder with her. I valued the time I got with her, and treasured every lesson she taught me.

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When Cecilia was staying on the land, nature responded. It was like the land was glad she was there. One day we went outside to be blessed by a rain of ladybugs. One fell on my lip and bounced off. I can still remember how it felt. One morning, a deer came to her door and knocked on it with it’s antlers. They went for a walk. In one of our sessions, a blue tailed lizard came to assist us with its lizard medicine.

 

Cecilia had a magical pot. During her sessions with people, she made concoctions with herbs that she had chosen and harvested. When I told her about Zane and his nightmares, she concocted a special brew for him, and told me to simmer it on the stove overnight. She said it would clear out old energy, and invite the good spirits in. I brought it home and turned on the stove to simmer, the faint blue light in the dark room echoing the moonlight on the Topanga hills outside. Then I went to bed.

 

In the middle of the night, I woke up in the in between state. Everything was alive and vivid. I saw a few big, tall, bright spirits walk in the door. Good spirits, the invited ones. They looked almost like people, but more cartoony. I remember their smiles, so big, so alive, so colorful. When I’m in this in between state, my body feels weightless, and sort of buzzed. They were so kind, and I welcomed them in before fading back into deeper sleep again.

 

I did not see what spirits they evicted, but they must have done something, because after that, Zane’s nightmares stopped.

 

In time I developed more awareness about wild herbs, and worked my way up to hiking every day, and foraging with my skilled foraging partner. I had the luck of having gardens where I could experiment with different heirloom vegetables and herbs, that brought great inspiration to my life and food. My magical forest creature friends in Topanga have guided me in this experience, in unusual and beautiful ways, which led me to being called the Soup Sorceress. I often feel like I’m in a Miyazaki movie, surrounded by magical flora and fauna while I create with my hands, pulling ingredients of spirit into a space of creation that heals my heart in a new way every time, and creating new flavors I never heard of before.

 

And I remember Cecilia’s magical pot of herbs, and the graciousness of the spirits, during times I need soup for my soul.

Stop and Smell the Chamomile

I quit drinking caffeine, I think it’s been about 10 months now. A lot of people have asked me how I survive without it. My body became so sensitive to caffeine, it felt like it was killing me (pardon the extremity). I’m surviving better without it. Although I really miss jumping up in the morning, getting excited, grabbing the yerba mate from the fridge, and expelling a ton of energy in a few hours, getting wildly creative ideas, sewing, business dealing, writing, and cooking at the same time, and then falling hard asleep for two hours, then waking up very hazy and sick, and often times crying by the end of the night. I don’t miss all of that, just the good parts.

When I quit caffeine, I used the method of cutting it out slowly, and doing different teas, then coffee, then decaf coffee, then chocolate drinks. After that, I had no chocolate and really worked at cleaning myself out, no sugar, bread, meat, or dairy, except when I snuck a tiny bite of butter. Hehe….. maybe a little pasture raised bacon fat too…and ok, just a couple little bites of bread form Ceor Bread at the farmers market. Tiny bites!

So about a month ago I thought I would give chocolate a try again. I just love chocolate so much, so I made chocolate drinks every morning. I was sort of ok with it, until recently, when I became more aware of what I was doing to myself. “It’s just a little tablespoon of chocolate, this has to be ok” I thought to myself every morning.

Then recently, I visited a friend. I knew it was going to come up… he asked me why my hand was shaking.

“It’s the chocolate. I can’t drink it anymore.”

Sadly, it’s just not working. I’m quick to be nervous and jumpy, which takes away from being centered, wise, and considerate. So being sensitive to my sensitivity after having a soup I made, he suggested some kava kava, valerian, or St. Johns Wort. He was right, except that I had to figure out some other calming herbs, for a few reasons. For kava kava, because I think that I need to strengthen my liver first before I start taking that. Valerian, when I tried it as a kid, used to give me an interesting type of headache. To test that out, I recently held a bottle of it at the store to see if I could feel the energy of it. Just in case it would be a good idea. I felt that strange knock out headache, plus relaxing feeling. Which is what it’s good for. It wasn’t bad, but I needed to think of something else to use. I never felt called to use St. Johns wort, but I might be willing to give it a try, that’s another story.

At the farmers market, I picked up two big fresh bunches of chamomile. I realized, that was my synchronistic, temporary answer, for a fresh and calming herb, that I could add to my morning smoothies. I also had some idea that I was going to make a purple potato salad with chamomile, thai basil, and amaranth. Instead I made this soup for Mimosa Cafe, so others can share in this chamomile experience while it’s in season. A centered, calm, mineral rich, full of nutrients, and nice flavor, experience.

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Recipe

2 cups chopped cucumbers (I peeled the skin, but if I had Japanese or Armenian cucumbers I wouldn’t peel them.)

2 cups chopped heirloom tomatoes

1/2 cup chopped onions

1/4 cup laver seaweed (from Main Coast Sea Vegetables)

1/2 cup fresh lemon juice

1/2 tsp spirulina

10-20 chamomile flowers.

salt and white pepper to taste

Blend it!

(I opt for white pepper because it’s healthier then black pepper, but you can use black pepper)

The seaweed is there for health reasons, but I also did a batch without the seaweed, and the taste was really nice, so it’s all an inspiration and a choice anyway.

Some day maybe I’ll get to have some fun all night adventure, road trip, and I’ll take some caffeine then, but when I drank it every day, I fell apart. I love being busy and handling a lot of things at once, but at this time in my life, within reason to what is healthful.

Recently, I’ve been making a banana smoothie in the morning with chamomile, pumpkin seeds, vanilla, and spirulina.

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Pickled Quail Egg Salad

There are various ways to flavor and color pickled quail eggs. I used turmeric for a pretty yellow color. This was used as an appetizer for the Topanga Mountain School fundraiser, and it was gobbled up real quick. I also added pickled, turmeric english peas, which I’ll explain how to do as well. I have a new vision for this, which is to make cashew cream sauce and drizzle that all over.

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This is how I do it, for 2 dozen quail eggs. The picture above is 5 dozen quail eggs.

Start with the brine, because it needs time to cool down.

~ 1.5 cups of apple cider vinegar. (you can you rice vinegar if you want)

~1/2 cup of water

~ 2 tsp black pepper

~ 2 tsp. sea salt (I use real salt brand)

~ Fresh Turmeric Root, approximately 1/8 cup, or a little more, diced. (if you chop them a little bigger, it’s easier to spoon out the eggs, without getting little raw pieces of turmeric root with it.)

You can use 2 tsp. of ground turmeric powder if you prefer. 

Put all ingredients into a pot, and get it to a boil. I boil it a couple minutes, to make sure the turmeric is cooked a little, and the salt is dissolved.

Put the brine aside. If you want it to cool down faster, put it in the fridge or freezer, just don’t forget about it if you put it in the freezer!

Then cook the quail eggs. 

I searched a lot on cooking quail eggs, perfect for pickling, and there are a few answers to this, but I chose this way and it works.

Gently place 2 dozen quail eggs in cool water in a little pot, and bring them to a boil. Boil for 4 minutes exactly. Sometimes I’ll do 10 seconds less.

Make sure you have a bowl of ice water ready before they’re done boiling. After 4 minutes, not a bit longer, quickly and gently scoop the eggs with a spoon and place them into the cold water.

They’ll cool down pretty quickly and then you can start peeling the eggs gently. They’re easy, just be gentle.

Put the eggs into a clean mason jar.

Once the brine is cooled down, pour the brine in the jar with the eggs. Close the jar and shake a little. Then put it in the fridge. Wait 3 days to a week before eating them so they’re nice and pickled. The eggs should last a month from the time you bottled them.

The pickled turmeric english peas:

It’s basically the same thing, but you’ll pour the brine HOT in the jar with the peas in them. That way it blanches it a little. It’s a perfect little sour, crunchy, turmeric pea, flavor burst!

You can use a lot less brine, depending how many fresh peas you feel like shelling.

Top the salad with little greens, radishes, pickled peas, and whatever else you like.

 

Soupe De Potiron

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When I was in High school, at Hollywood High Performing Arts Magnet, I started a petition to try to change the School lunch program into something healthier.

I realized pretty quickly that wasn’t going to happen so fast, or from a petition. I consider it a step in the right direction, when I visited there this year, and saw several benches were torn out where we used to hang, and were replaced with garden beds.

Less then a decade later, my Son, Zane Allister, was in Kindergarten at Topanga Elementary, and I wanted to do something about lunches. I realized at some point, that if it was illegal to donate and create a salad bar for the lunch program, but Parents were allowed to bring cupcakes inside the class on their kids Birthday, then I could bring salad anytime I wanted. Often my son would walk out of class with a cupcake loaded with high fructose corn syrup, from a Birthday celebration. I tried not to make a thing about it, but I wanted to donate vegetables for the kids.

I asked the teachers each year if I could, and once in a while I donated to the class. I washed fruits and veggies, shaved the carrots, cut the celery, prepared cucumbers. Simple fruits and veggies, direct from local, organic farms, to provide the kids with some extra nourishment in the middle of the day, inside the classroom. The Teachers were happy about it, and the kids walked out of the class with eyes wide open, thanking me.

Once my Son was in 5th grade and wanted to be a part of the play, I was asked to be the Assistant Director, which also gave me the opportunity to provide organic fruits and vegetables for after school snacks.

Today, Zanes in 7th grade, and it was my turn to make lunch for the school at Topanga Mountain School, where he attends.

Two days ago, I sent a picture on instagram, of the 2 surprise Snowball Pumpkins that popped up in  the middle of a sweet baby pumpkin field at T & D Farms. My Aunt made the comment….

“Soupe De Potiron”??? (also called “Potage Aurore” or “Dawn Soup”). A wonderful blend of pumpkin/potiron and tomato with thick cream, dash nutmeg, according to cookbook written by my grand-mother La Mazille…she was a big time “Bonnes Soupes” maker.

My Aunt Isabelle was the wife and muse of My Great Uncle (by blood), and one of my favorite artists, Judson Huss. So I was pretty happy to see her comment about soup art.

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I gathered anything the farms that I already buy from weekly, were willing to gift to the School. I normally don’t ask farms for donations because I want them to receive more, but in this case, we were all happy about this possibility.

I realized, even though I had a different type of winter squash, I pretty much had the ingredients for the soup she mentioned.

Which squash did I have!? The coolest one, of course! It’s name is, “Sweet Candy Roasted Georgia Squash”. From “The Garden Of” farm.

 

IMG_1056Some people like more or less cream, some like leeks, some don’t, some want a few fresh tomato chunks, some are willing to try my side of fermented salsa. The point is, I don’t have a measured recipe for this soup, but you’ll know what to do for your own. Here’s my current version of “Soup De Potiron”. It couldn’t be a better time of season for a blend of heirloom tomatoes and pumpkin. Tomatoes will be out soon, and winter squash will still be in. So if you wanna do this later, freeze some tomatoes from Tutti Frutti farm! You can get #2 heirlooms, for $10 per 10 pound box, best deal for incredible tomatoes!

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~Heirloom Tomatoes

~Sweet Candy Roasted Georgia Squash

~Raw Organic Pastures Cream or Nut Cream

~Cilantro

~Leeks

~Himalayan Salt

I laid it out for the kids, so that they could pick out their own toppings, and mixings. Most wanted the cream! Some didn’t, so it’s good to give them the option. Same with the squash, some just wanted plain tomato soup, not squash, tomato soup.

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The squash was roasted in chunks.

The heirloom tomatoes, were pureed and then simmered. I lost two liters while simmering, and stirring, so that it would be less watery. I only added rice vinegar and himalayan salt.

Sautéed leeks on the side, sautéed some corn, cut fresh tomatoes, and basil from home greenhouse. The kids just grabbed the toppings they wanted, and all seemed happy and nourished with the lunch. If they wanted cream, they could just stir some in.

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Seasonal Sipping Broths

I created different flavors of vegetable broths, that you can drink cold or warm, or flavor your own soups, stews, chilis, or stir fried veggies.

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After a year of a tough and painful healing journey for my son, and myself, one of the things that came out of all of it, is this drink. I really looked at what I could drink that would provide me with the nutrients my body was asking for. I researched like crazy, experimented, cooked, listened to the answers that were coming to me, looking for the healing I needed. While, spending every day helping my son through his challenges, which lead us to a Chiropractor that changed our lives.

I had to break away from drinking organic yerba mate cold teas. I thought I could handle it, since I ate healthy. However, when my emotions were struggling, and I crashed hard in the middle of the day, and woke up dizzy and hazy, it was time to quit all caffeine, sugar, and alcohol. The sugar was easy, because I never liked it, the caffeinated teas took me some time.

I made a vegetable broth with medicinal mushrooms, turmeric, and other medicinal spices and herbs. From plants that were in my garden, to foraging, and from our local farms.

Many large organic suppliers aren’t fully trusted as much as small organic farms. When it comes to a fully integral food product, I want it sourced from the farms that I love, directly! This is a challenge for other large food suppliers, but I can get into that later.

The broth is such a great flavor, I love drinking it cold or warm. It’s great to flavor vegetables soups, stews, chilis,  and stir fried veggies.

My life has guided me to this piece of art in a way I couldn’t have dreamed up. It’s been a wild and dynamic journey.

For years I have walked down the super market shelves frustrated that most, if not all large food suppliers are using the same ingredients all the time. That doesn’t fit into supporting small, local, farms and eating in season. I was also frustrated with the amount of coconut drinks, and maca, when there are so many medicinal foods we have that grow here! Fresh herbs from small farmers, medicinal mushrooms harvested in California, and even simmering onion skins are said to be medicinal.

Here’s some examples of flavors.

Chaga, Curry and Turmeric. Jujube, Honey, and Cardamom. Shitake and Curry. Lions Mane Mushroom and Shitake. Reishi and Nettles with Beets. Cocoa and Spicy Peppers.

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Papa’s Guacamole

I have a vivid memory of my Papa’s guacamole during a super bowl party when I was a kid. I don’t know who it was that I can actually credit for making it, but I credit my Papa because he brought people together. A friend of his caught eye of my young, captivated attention, directed into the bowl, and let me ask him questions. I’ve been trying to make guacamole that good ever since.

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It was 7pm and I was rustling together a few things to be sure I had the proper foraging gear, while finishing a soup with pickled rainbow carrots, making my Cousin a leather wrist cuff for her Birthday, and feeling like, “Am I really doing this?”

YES! I’m on a mission to find medicinal mushrooms!

Magically, a friend showed up at our door and agreed to stay and watch our cat. He helped me make soup for my Aunt, and ate the soup I had left over in the fridge. By 8pm, my son and I were on the road to San Mateo (about a 5 hour drive up North), leaving the house a bizarre looking mess. Between the biggest storm we just had, in which we had to bring in boxes of stuff from outside to the living room, and the ridiculous amount of mess it takes to create one big soup and a leather bracelet, it looks like a storm in my house.

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(Horse salad for some Topanga horses, from left over scraps making the soup.)

We arrived at 1:30am, fell asleep. My son made breakfast in the morning, as I anxiously waited for him to finish, so I could get on a trail and search for mushrooms in the forest. My body was so ready to move and explore after a long drive.

zanesbreakfastZanes breakfast. French toast logs with chocolate hazelnut spread filling. They were worth the wait.

My Aunt Caroline came with me, and did a really good job at pointing out little side areas off the trail, that I should go look. She exercised the trail, while I got deep in the redwoods. Which led me to finding a little bit of several different varieties, until I got lost, and eventually found her again.

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This is witches butter. It’s a squiggly yellow fungus, and feels slimy.

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When we got back, my friend Joseph, who was staying at our house, sent me a text. “Your food is magical….You make medicine soups.” He was enjoying my vegan borscht with chaga mushroom powder. It gave me some encouragement.

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Last minute, we asked my Aunt Gretchen and Uncle Paul to come over for dinner. My Aunt Caroline, who’s always kind and supportive, was happy to let me cook for everyone.

The Teenagers, my three Cousins, all had their own thing going on that night, so it was just us Adults and  my son,  Zane, who will almost be a teenager.

I quickly went to Draegers Market to pick up stuff for Tacos. On my way, my Aunt Caroline reminded me to make guacamole.

Doing my best to keep a big dinner at a reasonable cost, I wanted to buy only exactly what we needed, and not go over the top. I looked at the $50 a pound chanterelle, and morel mushrooms for a moment, wishing, and then grabbed some little $6 yellow ones.

I had my Papa’s guacamole in my mind while I shopped.

I was worried about not having enough tortillas, so I bought too many. I didn’t know who would want corn tortillas and who would want flour tortillas. When I brought everything to the kitchen counter, spread out, my Uncle Graham (who always walks in the room full of charisma and energy) came in the kitchen asking, “how’s it going?”.

“It’s ok, I think I bought too many tortillas though”, I said nervously. I didn’t know how any of this would turn out, only that I cared deeply that everyone enjoy the dinner, and no one left hungry.

While we ate tacos, Uncle Paul, who has a lot of cool things to say about foods he’s enjoyed; talked about a guacamole contest he went to. He said everyone agreed this one Woman who won, had the most insanely best guacamole. He described her as very shy, while everyone hovered over her guacamole, going nuts over it.

“What was in it?!”, we all wanted to know.

I know the secret ingredient now, I don’t want to share it yet. Actually, I want to have a Topanga town guacamole contest.

Although, there wasn’t a farmers market that day, and I was 6 hours away from my walk in fridge of produce, I found a few variety of vegetables that made me happy to work with.

I charred shishito peppers with olive oil, salt and topped it with a little truffle oil. Fried the mushrooms. Made skirt steak , shrimp with chili powder, mango salsa with orange heirloom tomatoes. Sliced watermelon radish, soaked in lemon juice, olive oil, and salt. A cabbage salad with sliced fennel, little bit of watermelon radish, lemon juice and oil. The guacamole was put together by my son, who was the best sous chef. He even cut the shrimp and the mango perfectly. We sliced some heirloom tomatoes and used torpedo onions in the guacamole, some lime juice and salt.

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My Aunt Caroline said, “green onions are healthier then regular onions”. I guess anything that’s green is healthier. She also told me that when cooking garlic, slice it and leave it out for 10-15 minutes and then cook it. For some reason, that’s how to do it when you want to keep it’s medicinal properties if you’re  cooking it. The book “Eating on the Wild Side” explains it in depth.

My Uncle Paul, seemed interested in what I was doing in the kitchen, which made me feel like I was doing something right. I didn’t know if they would like the shishito peppers, or the watermelon radish. He said they were some of his favorite things. My family knows good food.

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My Uncle Graham and Zane, talked numbers, and Zanes career plans, while my Aunt Gretchen and I talked about the importance of small farming. She said something like, “I’m old enough to have lived in a time, where it was the norm, everyone knew their farmer, and then farming became industrialized….” She has a wealth of information, and ability to clearly explain it all to me. I just said, “I wish I was recording this.”

After we ate, my Aunts and I were in the kitchen, and I told them I just learned yesterday, of a mushroom called, Laughing Mushroom, that makes people laugh uncontrollably. The night ended with my Aunt Caroline  saying, “that’s my favorite song!” While singing the Mary Poppins song, “I love to laugh”, as three ladies burst into laughter!

That’s medicine!

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We were on our way home at 10pm. I didn’t get hungry the whole ride.

Maybe the teenagers will join us next time,

if they don’t have something cooler going on. 🙂