Sending blessings to everyone who needs more strength today.
A Man would say to me, “Great spirits often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds.” Which is basically an Albert Einstein quote, said a little differently.
Every challenge I’ve been through with people, that felt crushing to my spirit, made sense when he said that. Suddenly, my sensitive heart was acknowledged.
After I pheonix and rebirth, which is so often my reality, having 5 planets in Scorpio, I create something. That’s how I gain my clarity, strength, and empowerment.
I sat down alone at Erewhon. One of the most craziest nature people from Topanga that I know, sat down when I said hello. His stories are so out there, most people are flabbergasted. I don’t know if I can share the worst one, it’s so crazy! It’s really great to sit and listen to his stories. I awaited his latest tale when he sat down. He told me how he picked up a poisonous, deadly lizard and was so happy because he had been waiting to find that lizard for years! He looks forward to the day when he can hold an anaconda snake. I listened to him, hardly saying many words.
“You seem softer now.” he said. I softly agreed. I feel like more of an Angel Super Hero then yesterday.
Retrograde in Pisces
This mercury retrograde has been a mix of everything.
I replaced the gorgeous pink stone in my 50 year old necklace that had sadly fallen out, with cats eye stone. A few days later, it was hailing and raining in the morning and life had sadness, I cried puddles. A few hours later, the sun came out, and the next thing I knew, the Angel Warrior and I rode off in my adventure car, with a miraculous rainbow by our side. We drove around the town for an hour while he sang and I danced to India Arie and other songs, alternating my hands, feet, and face out the window in the cool air.
That’s when my favorite necklace fell into pieces all around me. It felt like being in a dream where nothing in the physical reality was a concern. Until it was again, and we both had a sling shot of reality. I knew when I saw the rainbow, that as magical as it was, I’ve been in rainbow moments before. Rainbow moments are incredible and they can be a bit illusionary too. Put some highly sensitive people in a rainbow moment and it can be quite entertaining. We did feel so free in that moment.
The Strength Broth
My happiness broth had sold out, and nettles arrived back in season. It was time to bring in the Strength broth to Erewhon. I needed more strength. I felt we could all use more strength through the retrograde. In fact, I’m stronger now then I was when I first created the strength broth. When the Universe created this flavor through me, it was a time where I was growing stronger in being myself.
Out in the World
Yesterday, at barworks class, the Teacher said. “You are stronger then you think.” And left us with a few more words about strength in life on our way out the door.
The Angel Warrior, who is still recovering his strength from the trauma of false accusations, (this is explained in my last post) called and told me that he spent 3 hours walking around town and picking up trash. 3 hours! He’s gaining so much strength inside, that he’s starting to feel the muscles pop out of his arms like a super hero.
Today, my Wizard and I took a hike. We found a car. “That 50 year old car would not be an easy trash pick up”, I thought to myself.
“This is the end of the trail.” my Wizard said, as we stopped at a beautiful oak tree, after having escaped bushes and bushes of poison oak.
“Wait.” I said. “I need some time with this tree.”
I hugged the tree, and slowly caressed it with the lightest fairy touch. “Thank you oak tree. Please give me more strength to be more me. I love you.”
If you’ve never stopped to hug a tree and soak in it’s wisdom, you’re in for a treat when you discover this. I spent a decade in Topanga Canyon and made nature my first priority. It’s the best.
My Wizard tried to tell me a story on the way back, but I was too distracted by looking at my tree picture. “I’m stronger than you are.” he mentioned. He might be right, he’s 12 years wiser.
And so… The theme of the tail end of mercury retrograde is, strength! I am stronger than I was the first time this flavor was created. Everything I’ve created, and am working on, and all the magic and harsh realities I’ve witnessed, is creating more strength in me then ever. I told a new friend at Erewhon, “there’s magic in the beginning of the retrograde, during it, and there will be magic after it.” Even if there was a lot of tough stuff in it. Magic happens. We’ll get through this and come out better. For me it’s another rebirth, and I thank everyone who has been a part of it.
May all beings have strength and be more of who they are. May all beings love with strength. May all beings find the solitude of nature.
If you love to hike and you like to avoid poison oak, I designed these organic cotton leg warmers for Women. I wear them in dance and yoga classes too! They’re totally cute! I get compliments all the time. The reason I like them on hikes, is that if I brush against poison oak on my calves, it’s easy for me to take these off and wash them separately of everything else, while still keeping my pants on. It’s really great. Even better, is that they look cute. You won’t find this fabric anywhere else, because it’s an original print. Check them out on Etsy!
The pink flowers wilted on my altar. I left them dried in their vase for over a week. It wasn’t like me. I can happily replace them on my own. The air felt that morning. I tried to catch the exact words for the feelings I was intuitively picking up on. I didn’t know how to respond, and to make things stranger, I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t crave my favorite pickles anymore. It was so disappointing, I really love those pickles.
The Universe has a plan. I knew there would be no fresh flowers coming to replace them. It was time to pluck them off their protective sepals and lay them on top of all the other wilted and dry petals. I placed a Jasper wand on top of them. I brought out the ocarina “lady muse”. I tried to meditate as usual but I couldn’t. I knew what was going to happen so I grabbed at my paper and pen to write.
“A dried flower is as beautiful as when it’s fresh. Letting go feels as good as the embrace.” And that leads me to begin this story with….
INTRODUCING THE VIKING ANGEL
As much as I resisted, in the midst of doing big important things, with an event coming up, I escaped from my focus on my work for a moment. I spent time with a Viking Angel by an oak tree under the Aries Full Moon. He’s an Angel that reminds me of a Viking in an Angelic way. He stands up for people any chance he gets, and once saved a Woman’s life, who was being stabbed by her boyfriend. As it happens, the event I’m preparing for is a fundraiser for victims of domestic violence.
He told me I wouldn’t have to worry about abuse again. Kind words, and I felt so good tears rolled down my face, though that was a decision I already made when my red hat was cut up. With him, I could feel the air around me as crisp, clear and safe. He gave me flowers, and more flowers.
20 years ago I injured my wrist, and after all those years of looking for natural solutions, and doing crazy things I wouldn’t recommend, it was time to go for surgery.
“I’m going to get wrist surgery this Friday”, I told him. He wanted to help.
THE HOSPITAL ANGELS
The Viking Angel picked me up to go to the hospital. Once I was settled, and in the room with the nurse, he left to go do more angelic earth work.
The nurse was an angel of comfort. I complimented her about it.
“My son has anxiety, so I really know how to make people feel comfortable in a room,” she said as she moved one thing here and there. Her quality of movements were energetic, and had less to do with what needed to be moved around. It just felt right.
After I answered all her questions, and it was almost time to be rolled out on the Hospital bed, I told her I was scared and nervous about the anesthesia. I began to curl up in fear. She stopped me.
“Don’t go in there like that, or you’ll wake up not feeling good. Here look at this wallpaper, it’s Hawaii.”
Although, Hawaii sounded nice and maybe the kid like wallpaper could be helpful, I knew just what to do. So I texted the Earth Angel.
“Could you send me a picture of nature? I’m scared.”
Just in time, he got my message, and sent me a picture he took. I felt immediate peace.
“Time to put your phone in the bag. You’re going to talk to the Anesthesiologist and then we’re going to roll you into another room.”
On the way, there were other people rolling around in Hospital beds. “Good Driving!” The nurses would say to each other. I felt safe hearing positive words.
The Anesthesia room was cold, with big machines, and huge circle lights over my head. The Doctor was in the corner with a blanket covering herself. They gave me extra blankets which were fresh out of the dryer. Scary cold room, in other words.
A mask went over my face, as I awaited the “talk” with the anesthesiologist.
“It’s oxygen, you like oxygen right? breathe in and out.”
I questioned in my mind if this was really oxygen, then someone on my other side, began to stick a needle in me and told me to count to 10. At 7, they told me to count slower. My body was tingling, and all went black.
Waking Up in Unity Consciousness
The next thing I knew I was having a vivid dream with the Viking Angel. The dream was unusual, not very good, but somehow comforting at the same time. The dream faded into silence and I began to open my eyes and feel consciousness. My senses were unaware, yet very awakened to positive forces.
From across the room a Man said, “How are you feeling?” His back was turned from me.
“Good”, I said. I was being honest. I was happy to be waking up.
He asked a couple more questions, and I answered them so he could hear me. The sound of his voice had the reminiscence of what it would be like if he was right above me. I began to be aware of the possibility that maybe he wasn’t talking to me. The Woman next to me was sort of muted, and in her own world. I began to sense in the ethers that from a higher consciousness level, she wasn’t responding to me yet, because there was a part of everyone in the room for a few moments that was aware of unity consciousness, just because I was aware of it.
The way I answered the questions was so positive, I wondered if it was happening because it would help the other patient in some way.
Finally, I answered one more question and felt some energy hit me a little. The questions weren’t for me.
“He’s talking to his patient.” The nurse next to me said, as I started to gain consciousness to realize I was in a room with other patients.
The Empathic Nurse
The next thing I knew I was in another room with a magical nurse at a computer, who had long wavy hair. Immediately, I felt a connection with her. She was empathic, kind, positive, and well functional. She said some things that blew my mind and warmed my heart. I realized, I was in the right place at the right time. With all my fears about what I just put myself through, she was a pleasant reminder that I was where I was supposed to be.
The Viking Angel came in with a warm, bright, compassionate look on his face. Our interaction was so kind and sweet, that the Empathic Nurse, had to share with us how much she liked us. We all shared stories.
The Viking Angel walked out while the Empathic Nurse and I exchanged some girly comments. For a moment, as I was still figuring out what was going on, I said, “where did he go?”
“He just went to get the car.” Suddenly, I felt so incredibly safe and cared for. She then wheeled me out in a chair, to his car. “Stay positive”, she assured me.
The Viking Angel and I spent the next few hours together, with some piano playing, a wild and hilarious moment at the store, sharing pears, and some tears telling stories in the backyard. Then it was time for me to be on my own. I felt like, if that was the last time I saw him, it was fine, I was sent an Angel to help me through the scary hospital day.
The Flowers were still living.
THE WHOLE FOODS ANGEL
“Could you get Grandma some orchids today?” My Aunt texted.
We face-timed next to the orchids at Whole Foods, trying to decide which one to get. I didn’t realize I would end up with a large one and I didn’t have a cart. I wasn’t supposed to carry anything with my left hand. So I was holding an orchid, a spinach box, and a pear without causing too much a nuisance on my right hand. It was a little crazy.
I walked down the aisle wishing I had gotten a cart, “if only someone could give me a cart right now.” I felt like since I didn’t have someone with me, it would be so nice to feel that I’m being looked out for. My wrist was in no position to be doing what I was doing. Moments later, and I’m crying as I write this, you can guess what happened.
A humble man, came up behind me and rolled a cart over. “Here you go.”
I wasn’t aware yet of what was happening, so my timing of response was delayed.
“This is for you.” he said.
“Oh my God, thank you! I’m not supposed to carry anything with my right hand.”
“You’re welcome! I’m just buying soup!” He held up his big cup of soup in his hand. He didn’t need the cart. Soup was all he came there for. Or was he a spirit in human form who knew I was the Soup Sorceress?
“I needed that thank, thank you, I was just hoping.”
“There are Angels everywhere,” he said. Then he was off and I never saw him again. The way he walked away, felt like magic.
He was just buying soup with a big empty cart.
It was a moment I didn’t want to forget, as I got teary eyed that Angels were looking out for me.
MY LITTLE ANGEL MOMENT
Later that week, hand in pain; I walked outside the gate at a friends house, knowing I was walking out at just the right time for whatever reason. Across the street was an elderly Man carrying an insulated Trader Joes bag.
“Joe?!” I said.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“I used to Art Model for you a decade ago.”
“Oh you look familiar. I’m much older now.”
I looked at his bag.
“Can I carry that for you?”
I knew Joes house, you have to walk a long way down steps and ramps to get to his little cabin by the creek. He almost didn’t let me help him.
“Are you sure? I’m happy to help.”
“I’m 96 years old”, he said. Then he let me help him.
“Are you sure? It’s really heavy.” he said.
With my right hand in a cast, “I still have one hand I can use right now, I can do it.” And we took a nice walk to his cabin to drop off his bag.
The Last Tea with the Viking Angel
I finally plucked the dried flowers that morning.
We wanted to go to the annual Chili Cook Off, but when we arrived there was a sign showing it was postponed. We went to the Theatricum across the street, but they were busy and I couldn’t show him the big stage. We went to Mimosa Cafe and I pointed out the koi fish pond, but an animal had eaten all the the koi fish. It wasn’t the best time to have tea at Mimosa, it’s more fun in the morning. Amidst an important conversation, someone I knew walked towards us. I politely said hello. Not the best idea. He came back to ask us if we wanted to buy acid. I rolled my eyes inside, thinking, ” today just isn’t the best reflection of Topanga for the Viking Angel to see.” We politely declined his offer.
“Can I ask you guys a question?” He asked us, as he pulled up a chair.
“How long is this story? We’re right in the middle of a big conversation.” I said.
“It’s really quick. It’s really important. Why do girls like fat guys?” As he curled up his lips in anger. My body went tense. It was a terrible feeling, I didn’t like his language towards people one bit and the deep emotions running through him felt uncomfortable. I wanted to say, “because he treats her better than you do,” but I saved myself for better words and let the Viking Angel kindly send him away.
Release & Transform
I didn’t want to pick up a little card in the bowl on the counter at Mimosa, full of different words for you to look away and choose one to gain insight for the day. I stirred the cards and chose transformation. I was thinking, “oh god, really, again?” As a Scorpio, you get used to it over and over and over again. It’s a truly fantastic journey, but it’s frustrating too. I knew it was coming when I broke a rose quartz wand, and accidentally poked an eyeball with my hat.
After many words and long moments of silence, that was the day to let go of the Viking Angel and jump into my next portal of transformation the way a pheonixing Scorpio does. I am evolving my divine feminine more every day, and I love that.
His soul is transforming to be the Man he’s meant to be. That’s why I had released his flower petals that morning. It’s time for him to travel to his next adventure of manly Angel Viking missions, so many miles away from here.
I’ll be there in spirit, sending the scary spiders outside and clearing away cobwebs for you.
He often said, “I’ll always protect you.” And this song was playing, here with me, that night, when he last messaged me. “goodnight, young beautiful sorceress.” There are many spirits protecting us, and those words he spoke, are a reflection of all those spirits, spoken by a human smiley face.
Goodbye young Viking Angel.
I’ll always remember that stool we both felt compelled to move at Erewhon, so it wouldn’t bother anyone else.
May all beings feel the magic in the air. May all beings be loved. My all beings feel safe to be themselves. May all beings transform. May all beings live in their truth and soul purpose. May all beings find magic in every day. May all beings have peace. May all beings be free.
No soup recipe this time, it’s coming. I have a new broth batch at Erewhon in Calabasas, good for our immune system and intuition, something I was challenged with this last month.
In my silent quest to find better words in all situations, I dissolved this.