Dissolving Disempowered Thoughts

How I survived the Wild Month of February

It’s been a traumatic month. It was the month of the Burn, the Rash, and the Theft. I got a second degree burn, a big poison oak rash, and someone stole from my business. It left me wounded, scarred, and broken, adding layers to my recent evolution.

One night I was woke up in a powerful trance state at 1:30am. I heard these words, and wrote them down exactly as they were dropped like a water leak into my mind:

“Notice the power of the illusion of acting on a disempowered thought, based in a reality of time and space that doesn’t feel worth it’s presence in your right mind. Believe in its presence, and hold space that there’s a new more empowering thought arising in the shadows and depths of your soul.”

Spirit Drunk

I thought things were on their way up in my life. I was feeling good. I had just recently revived my health after a period of thinking I was dying. I was getting energy to exercise again. All my time researching and working on my health and my intuition was working.

At the beginning of the month, I felt like I was drunk on spirit. It was both exhilarating and confusing. I don’t know how to explain that, except to say that my ring flew off my hand as I tripped over my own foot. Stuff like that kept happening.

You know those dreams when you’re falling down a hole, and your body actually feels like it’s falling, and your body shocks itself awake? I had that, but I was tying a shoe and tripping over it. It was extremely vivid. It felt kind of like a lucid dream state, but it was different.

I went back to improv class during this time. I’m in a place of such heightened sensitivity that when my improv teacher told us he was hung over, I felt drunk! The whole class I was giggling nonstop and even hiccuping. It was so bad that the woman doing a scene with me made use of it and directed the scene into me being drunk. Which worked out quite well since we were talking about what to do with a blender. “There’s a rehab next door, I think you should go in that direction.” Good line…

Broth Burn

The burn happened 4 days later. I’m convinced this was due to the presence of confused, disempowering thoughts going on.

I didn’t listen to an important voice.

Something told me not to wear those pants with holes on the legs, that morning. The voice said, “No, don’t do it!”

I didn’t need to know why I was supposed to listen to that voice, I just simply needed to listen; but, I was in a rush to get my son to school, so I just left. I could have still listened to my instinct and looked for different pants. I don’t even really like those pants!

So the broth splashed and of course it landed right on the exposed part of my leg. And it hurt. A lot. I screamed like crazy.

My son looked on Google and told me to run cold water in the bath for 20 minutes. I took this photo because there was a part of me that was elated, the pain a reminder of my alive-ness. I was in pain and at the same time feeling blessed it wasn’t worse.

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The Burn is Above my Right Knee. I tried to look like I was comfortable in the snow, I almost had it!

To be honest, when I burned myself, I was more concerned about the aesthetics than the pain. What about those cute shorts I wanted to buy? Or that mini skirt I made, looking forward to the summer. What if I could never art model again or take naked photos? So I took some naked photos* in the snow, and chilled out.

I realize now, some weeks later, that what the Burn gave me was not just a scar– it was a mark that reminds me that I’m a woman who will pick up the pieces, dust myself off, believe, and move forward in ways I never imagined. And for that I am incredibly grateful.

Acting Rashly

The same day I burned myself, I was attacked with poison oak all over my lower back, and a spot on my butt and arm! It’s a pain I would not wish on anyone! Both of these mistakes could’ve been avoided, but I’m a soul rebel, braving the wilderness, and I can get a little nonsensical at times.  

With a little help from my men…

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Print from my Uncle Judson Huss.

I have a deep appreciation for wonderful Men. Soup Sorcery has a lot to do with the inspiration of Men in my life, each one pivotal, life changing, and magic. In fact, what got me through were some spectacular Men: my Son, my Brother, the Earth Angel, and the Faun.

No one yelled at me, ignored me, or lectured me about how stupid I was for getting burned. No one hit me on the head. They helped me, and I didn’t do it all on my own. I felt safe.

The Earth Angel picked up aloe vera for me when Erewhon ran out, and I couldn’t bear to drive anymore. He skillfully and perfectly dripped aloe vera on my burn, then wrapped it gently.

Noticing my sadness while he wrapped my leg, he said, “It’s ok, just imagine all the good surprises in life that haven’t happened yet.” He gave me a shoulder to cry on.

“Do you want a tissue?” he asked.

I answered, “I already used your shirt. Sorry.” He just continued to hold loving space.

He brought me soup and an immune booster, and talked to me for half an hour while I had the flu. I sent the Earth Angel off with some wellness formula, hoping he wouldn’t catch my flu (He didn’t).

He brought me to dinner at his friends’ house, where they gave me some of their homemade colloidal silver. I honestly don’t know what good colloidal silver does, but the sensation of the gift felt powerful and amazing. 

The Vegetable Thief

Okay, so before I said I would wish poison oak pain on no one, but if I were inclined to do so, there’s someone who could probably roll in it covered in super glue, he made me so mad…

Though I was experiencing the pain of the burn and the poison oak, I continued to do business as I always do. One of the drivers that I hire weekly, had to cancel one week, and I was scrapped to find a driver on craigslist. He seemed like a nice person, so I didn’t read the red flags correctly. I was in pain and needed help! So I sent him off with $800 worth of produce boxes, and a check to deliver them. Then I didn’t hear from him all day, or that night. He blocked my number.

At first I didn’t know if he was in an accident or something else happened. My Psychic tuned in and said that the guy was someone who made erratic decisions. I thought, “either he made an erratic decision and crashed, or he made an erratic decision and stole vegetables.” The Earth Angel called him the next day, and the guy answered, then hung up when he told him he was calling on my behalf. So that ruled out the accident, plus he cashed the check before I canceled it. 

My friend the Faun called him several times and left messages, and found a picture of him for me so I could identify him to the authorities. My Brother, who had adamantly and skillfully fixed the security camera a week before the incident, sent me the pictures of the guy’s car and license plate. I have this image in my mind, watching my brother fix the wires, and telling me how important it was that he do this before he left town, and in my mind I was questioning why. Everything was ready for the police report, the camera shots were important. 

I had no choice but to email my customers and be honest. I wrote:

“I’ve never experienced this in my 8 years doing this little business. I’ve always followed through at every challenge. I count on being able to make the basic expenses of this business. In order for me to continue, I have to ask if any of you are willing to take soup credits instead of a refund. I would greatly appreciate it.”

Some people donated, some people needed a refund, and about half of the people took soup credits. A few people canceled. That’s business. I am incredibly grateful to my wonderful customers.

But I was so inspired by the kindness of my customers, and felt so protected by the my Angel men, it blasted me out of my pain. Not that I didn’t feel it. I was just so relieved to feel safe, after so many years in a fight or flight stance.

So, while I don’t wish poison oak pain (or any pain!) on anyone, I won’t be mad if the Vegetable Thief were to get a persistent itch that he can’t quite reach.

Honestly, it was thanks to the Men who stepped in that I was able to handle this situation with authenticity and elegance.

Note to the thief: My Son suffers from physical pain, in which he sees specialists for. I work with what I have to make that possible. It’s not easy. I worked crazy hours and put up with so many challenges to keep my businesses. I hold space for everyones growth and encourage you to reach out to the Detective, and work on paying back the funds.

Gettin’ Back On That Horse IMG_7772

That night I decided it was time to go back to dance class for the first time in three months. I just knew it was time. They were surprised and happy to see me. I told them my story, and about how inspired I was by all the people that made me feel better.

The dance class was full of spirit that day. They danced so well and said things like, “Be like Kali, get back on that horse!”

I also went back to improv class. No more hiding, it’s time to get back out there! My friends there were really mad at the thief on my behalf. Like they were channeling all that anger I was too afraid to express. My dear friend Lana said, “Let’s call him and make him fall in love with us, and then crush his heart!” I felt like I had a team of improvising Topanga townspeople ready with pitchforks.

Erewhon In Retrograde

Each time I go to Erewhon now it gets bigger, brighter, and more interesting– and my broths were nowhere to be seen! They had moved things around. Another Angel, is my friend who’s the Vice President of Erewhon and runs the Calabasas store. We looked around for the broths. They have been selling out much quicker lately. People love the shitake and sage broth. “It would be great if you could put my broths in your fresh soup section.”

Victor rolled his eyes and tilted his head to the side. I said, “I know, I know I’m always pushing, but if I don’t say anything, who will?” He agreed about that. I told him, “Mercury goes retrograde in Pisces tomorrow.”

He got a look of concern. “I’m Pisces, is that bad?” “No it’s great, Pisces are the best. But I can’t find my broth on your shelves and my keys have gone missing.”

We’ll see where I end up in the store next…

For anyone who wants to learn more about the retrograde in Pisces, I recommend my astrologists video. Follow her channel!

Unity Consciousness

I found my keys. They were in my car like I had predicted, or more like it was common sense. I began to walk back in the store to talk to a Chef Friend who recently did a video for me at Erewhon, and her presence helped me to remind myself, “Ok now, get into unity consciousness.” I then heard whistling and my name being called out. I turned around, and there was the Man I needed to talk to today. We had scheduled a call for later in the day, without a specific time, about an event we’re doing together, but here we were now.

I showed him the burn on my leg. “You know that the burn makes you even better right? Sexier. You know you’re very sexy right?”

“Yes, I do.” I answered. “But I don’t like the burn. It doesn’t make me feel more sexy.” I just could not yet be ok with this new burn and poison oak scars.

On my way home, I wept in gratitude for all the unexpected kindness from the Angel Men, that came from all this stress and scary stuff. The tears were healing, dissolving disempowering thoughts and transforming them into empowered thoughts. Remembering the words I had woken up to (written in the beginning of this post), I feel a deeper and richer sense of empowerment.

I have many scars. I don’t have to like them. But they are there to remind me of what I survived and I love that.  It’s perfectly imperfect. Like me. Not that I like imperfections, but I can love them.

And Finally, Soup!

During all this insanity, I got the Earth Angel’s soup recipe. It will open your sinuses and blast open your heart like everyone did for me in the brutal month that was February 2019 in the life of the Soup Sorceress.

Incantation:

May all beings feel safe. May all beings attune to unity consciousness.  May all beings grow. May all beings be free. May all beings warm their heart and soul. May all beings see the choice to turn painful emotions into magic. Thank you Angel Men, I love you all. Happy International Women’s Day, thank you for helping me feel a little safer. 

Earth Angel Soup

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Ingredients:

Water

½ or ¾ lb Red Lentils

About the same amount of Brown Rice

Basket of Mushrooms

Broccoli

Kale

Bell Pepper

Jalapenos (chopped tiny)

Ginger (chopped tiny)

Turmeric Powder

Add more water as needed

Salt to taste (Hint: He adds too much.)

Raw, Thinly Sliced Onions on Top

Add avocado cubes at the end.
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In order to get the right amount of ginger and jalapeno to be the amount he uses, look at the picture. He uses one to two jalapenos that size. Just one ginger that size.

With soups like this, I let the rice, lentils, ginger, jalapeno, and turmeric cook for 20 or 30 minutes, then add mushrooms. You add the broccoli in the last 5 or 10 minutes of the total cooking time, and then add the kale once you turn off the heat. Bell Pepper can go in whenever you want, depending on how much crunch you want.

 

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