I’m in Ashland Oregon, to enter into 4 days of meditating in a dark room. No light, no phone, no computer. I’ve prepared for it all month.
I’m going in just in time, to see all the wonderful black and white photos of Women empowering each other on instagram.
I had some curry soup last night from a local organic little shop, and I was feeling scared. The Angel Warrior sent a message to tell me nothing would come up that I can’t handle. I laughed and cried as he also said, sometimes I might feel like I just want to get out of there.
In High School, I played the role of Helen Keller. When I got the role, I had never been so happy. I wanted to play the role so much, and I got to. I was a method Actress, and so I spent time in a dark closet to practice. I taught myself to knit with my eyes closed, and fell off the stage blindfolded once. I had some crazy bruises on my body. For not being able to speak, it was still one of the best roles of my life. So when I heard about the darkness retreat, I knew it was for me. After having experienced a taste of it in High School.
Wednesday night I asked my Sister if I could FaceTime my 2 year old Niece. When I got her on the phone she was watching, “Alice and Wonderland”.
I started The Psychic School 3 months ago. It took a lot of time and research to choose a School. I was partially reliant on a couple of friends to help with my decision, including my most trusted Wizard Elf Psychic, to look over the possibilities with me. Some of my friends said, “you don’t even need school.” I didn’t agree. The structure and community makes me happy, and I welcome more tools to guide me more deeply. We work a lot on getting grounded, and I can get pretty ungrounded.
I wake up in the middle of the night with downloads sometimes. Usually between around 3-5am, maybe midnight or sometimes close to 6am.
I’ve yet to be able to explain in detail what is happening to me and how I’m feeling energy, and healing, while getting information from source. It’s an experience beyond words, somewhat in the way a lucid dream is. I call these experiences a “midnight awakening journey”. My entire body and mind feels different; a powerful vibration. It started when I was pregnant 16 years ago. I became more hyper sensitive than ever. A pregnancy can connect us ladies even more deeply to source and make us more sensitive.
I woke up Tuesday night with a vision. I have much greater stories than this one, including the dream I had the night before I lost my ring, but I enjoyed this little vision. I vividly watched me and my Wizard (who’s a psychic and incredible palm reader amongst other specialties) talking to each other in the kitchen as we do now every day, since we’ve been living together for a couple weeks. The intensity of the energy was heightened in the vision and a very clear voice said, “this is happening because you’re in psychic boot camp.” I woke up. “Oh my God, that makes so much sense now”, I thought to myself. We really are here in this house for a reason. I started Psychic School a month before he moved in, and now I’m also in psychic boot camp.
Soon after this vision, he knocked on my door. “Could you make use of these Vince pants? I just bought them and they don’t fit me.”
“These look like Man pants.” I said. He insisted that I try them on. I closed the door, and reluctantly, yet happily, put them on. A perfect fit! I came out of my room and into the kitchen.
“I feel really masculine in these, like I’m in the army. Don’t you want to return these? I like feminine clothes.” He insisted they were good pants for me and fit perfectly. I didn’t want to wear them until later I realized, they are psychic boot camp pants! I was so happy. The Universe is as funny as it is mysterious. It wasn’t so much the material itself I was grateful for as it was the timing and message from the cosmos. I just won’t be wearing these outside the house.
Boot Camp Conversations:
“You refuse to be mindful. I need you to breathe. You’re not breathing, I get ungrounded when you don’t breathe. Look, I always pick up my salt shaker perfectly on the side of the shaker without even looking, and this time I didn’t. You see? I become ungrounded in your energy when you get like this.” He says, as I stumble through the kitchen, dripping something anytime my mind wanders off into the outer-space of mumbo jumbo thought-land.
That’s a small example of our typical, daily conversation in the kitchen. For someone like him, with 5 planets in Virgo, it doesn’t make sense how I can drift, and it’s equally obnoxious when one has to deal with my little slip ups. Like when I spilled taco juice on my boot camp pants. Stained forever. I do laugh about these things.
At the table he said. “I will not accept talking to anything except your 100% authentic self. Maybe other people are ok with seeing all of the minutia of different characters you portray but not me. Save that for when someones paying you to play a character.”
When he said that, I looked at him in the eyes warping my imagination in swirls and colors and fell into a space of absolute comfort where I felt myself fully. I enjoyed the assertive permission for me to feel myself authentically all the way. It brought me back to being 11 years old, backstage at the Chamber Theater in Hollywood, when I played Alice in Wonderland in “Orphan Dreams”. I wanted to be there again. I was so happy to express myself on stage, and back stage I had a peace and solitude of just being myself. I felt safe in this world, free to express characters, and yet I was just this pure soul that knew how to be me. The stage and even behind the stage was always my happiest place.
One night my back was turned in the kitchen, after I had made us dinner. Mr. Wizard walked towards me quietly so I didn’t know he was there, and then popped up right behind me.
“You’re being a ninja!” I said. “My Son used to do that to me all the time when he was younger.”
Right then, it made me burst into tears over the beauty of this memory. “It was one of my favorite things my Son did when he was little. He went onto YouTube to learn how to be a ninja. He would sneak up on me quietly, going unnoticed and try to scare me as he came up right next to me. He got so much joy out of it.” Often I could feel him even if I couldn’t hear him, and I would turn around and catch him.
What Am I Thinking?
My Wizard will say things out loud that I’m already thinking, which often will make life much easier for me. It’s actually quite a relief.
We were in the garage looking at some salsa for the tacos, in the fridge. I lifted the lid up to ask him to take a look and smell to see if the salsa was still good. We agreed it was. So I began to walk back in the kitchen.
“Wait,” he said, while he was busy with the cat. “We came in here for lettuce and you’re walking back with salsa, come get the lettuce.” While I walked back towards the fridge, I still held the lid and the open jar of salsa. I wanted to put the lid on, but I wasn’t doing it. I was thinking I would be more comfortable if I did, but I didn’t do it. Without me saying a word, he said, “Go on, put the lid back on, make yourself more comfortable.” I often forget in life to stop waiting for people to give me permission to do things. It’s very odd programming, but I’m climbing out of it like it’s my favorite tree.
One night I was in the kitchen waiting for my Wizard to come in, and feeling apprehensive about what to start preparing and what would be ok with him. Then I realized, normally, I wait for him, so I can get permission on ingredients and flavoring because he’s so particular. That night I let go of my fear, and decided to just do the soup I wanted to do. I would for anyone else, but with him, it’s a different story. There was no need to wait! It doesn’t sound like much, but in that moment it was a big step up the tree for me. When we finished the soup he said, “That was amazing. Good job Mama.” I couldn’t believe it. He liked the soup.
And in the midst of it all, I’ve come alone, to the middle of the Forest today to get really grounded. Soaking in Mother Earth.
In Psychic School, pretty much the first thing we do in class, is to connect with our grounding cord.
Click this link if you would like to get started with the Psychic School! Enter the coupon code Magic101 for a discount on your 101 class.
In Gratitude. I say these blessings from the both of us in Psychic Boot Camp.
“May all beings be fed. May all beings be blessed. May all children be fed and healthy.”
Drink your green juice my Wizard messages with a smile, as I finish writing, and I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world that I get to have this daily. He makes the juice every morning.
When I drink a cup of broth, I breathe better. I take in longer, fuller breaths of air that fill my lungs and soothe my body.
My last flavor broth, the Immunity & Intuition broth, sold out so quickly at Eerwhon, and the shelf was empty.
I had taken a few trips out of town, so it had sold quicker than I could make the next batch. I really escaped out of here. Something I want more often. I went to the snow in Lake Arrowhead and then to the pouring rain in San Mateo.
Yesterday, I arrived into Erewhon to see the Earth Angel sitting down, reading. I walked over, stood next to him, and told him a secret.
“My broth is sold out. I thought about doing the same one this week, but I’m doing the ‘Happiness’ broth tomorrow. Don’t tell anybody.” He promised he wouldn’t. I didn’t even know what I was in for when I decided to do it.
Why am I so secretive? So many things don’t need to be secret at all. It’s part unexplainable strategies I purposefully concoct with the best of intentions, and part having 5 planets in Scorpio in my astrology chart.
Intentions and Happy Stories
My intention was to create a happiness broth for the sake of feeling happiness for no reason at all. No story, no reason, nothing huge happened. Happiness is a state of mind. I feel so good just looking at these intelligent ingredients.
When you’re feeling happy and you get to share happiness with another human, it can be addictively fun.
I had a best friend 17 years ago. When we were around each other, everything was so much fun. We were the most spontaneous duo, and felt totally comfortable with each other. I never found anyone like her again, that could be so spontaneous like me.
Sometimes, we are challenged with feeling happiness on our own. It’s just the truth of life.
My Grandmother lost her Husband recently, (my Step Grandfather) he has passed. She told me a story about the day she got into the comfy king size bed in their vacation cabin, plopped the blankets on her, while her Husband was on a walk, and as the dog Charlie happily jumped on the bed, she said, “oh , Charlie, life doesn’t get better than this!” She had felt so safe on this Earth in that moment; she felt so happy. She is grieving her loss.
We all appreciate those moments when we get to feel so happy and exhilarated. Moments pass, and sometimes we have to remind ourselves extra, to be in a state of happiness, when some moments aren’t as exhilarating as others. Like the day I helped my Grandma remove some things from her cabin that was recently sold. She had been feeling so sad about losing the home, that she was happy I was there to make the day ok.
It was so hot because I was running up and down the stairs, carrying heavy things, so I had to put on a halter top in the snow. I felt pretty happy about that. Feeling warm in the cold air.
When we left, I locked the door, knocked on the wood and said, “good luck every body!” Sending blessings to all who enter the home in the future.
My Grandma said, “honey, any Man that doesn’t appreciate you is crazy.”
Sometimes, we see someone, who has happiness for no reason, they are just being it, and we remember how blessed we are. Someone who is humble, and just kindly doing their thing throughout the day, is refreshing.
I messaged Pegasus (a symbiotically creative spirit), and he asked how I was doing. Without any thought, I said, “I’m a little off today, but I’m working on it.”
What that meant was, I was trying hard to find that happiness space for no reason at all, for the broth, and it was challenging me. I felt happiness while I was making the broth, especially while stirring. I would walk away, and feel challenged. So I thought, maybe I am dissolving this challenge right here, right now, because I decided to create the happiness broth. (May all beings dissolve discomforts and feel happiness for no reason.)
Pegasus responded with a photo he took of a Man that inspires him. “It really captures him doing what he loves. Something so simple, yet so rewarding to an older Man, still full of so much life and happiness.”
End quote on “happiness”. I didn’t tell Pegasus my secret broth flavor yet; this just happened.
I took a walk. The sun was just going down. A Man wanted my attention, you know, energetically, so I decided to give him a happy hello as I walked past him carrying his trash cans in. “I would’ve given you a ride, as I passed by you,” he said kindly.
Although he was nice and not threatening, I thought, “maybe a hello wasn’t a good idea.”
“That’s ok, I’m just taking a walk on purpose.” I happily said as I walked a little more quickly and remembered to bring my pepper spray next time.
I kept walking. There were two Men passing by. They seemed a little low energy. It was starting to get dark. There were people far in the distance; shadows. One of the Men, had two dogs. A few feet after I passed him, there was an unforgettable dog smell. I clenched up and kept walking. There were sirens in the background. The flashing lights of the UPS truck parked next to me, reflected on and off the stop sign in the distance. I walked around a few rain puddles. This was no hike in Topanga. It was a city walk. It’s funny how for some of us, we feel safer around coyotes and owls. Though, I carried happiness with me.
I created this broth, so that we can all get drunk on happiness for no reason at all. And there’s nothing that brings me more life energy then to focus on my breath, which is how my body responds to drinking vegetable broth.
The star ingredients in this are shiitake mushroom, lions mane, gotu, kola, roses, and basil. So if you’re looking out the window on one of these gloomy winter days, come get yourself some happiness broth. Your breath, your body, your mind, will thank you.
If you want to make this on your own, simmer some veggies and add some of the ingredients I mentioned. You can also use chamomile, turmeric, ashwagandha, or lemon balm. Those are some feel good, happy herbs too.
Some Simple Things I Feel Happy About
Tonight as I simmer down from a busy day of a big simmering pot, I’m simply happy to feel and watch my delicious honey as it pours like thick liquid gold.
I’m happy Pegasus tuned in at the right timing, while he was in the middle of multi tasking business things. I just love that.
If you’re reading this, know that, I’m happy for you, for whatever little thing or nothing you can think of to feel happy about right now. I’m holding that space with all of my heart. If you feel sad, or you’re crying, I’m holding the feeling of happiness for you.
Lastly, something I’m really happy about. One of my closest and most trusted friends/psychic on the Earth Planet, held this wild bird in his hand for 15 minutes. How many people are so connected to nature that wild birds are comfortable to land on their hand, whilst petting it? The peace I feel knowing that he exists makes me happy. This picture feels too sacred to share.
May all beings be blessed. May all beings smile every day. May all beings feel happy for no reason at all. And happy for lots of reasons too. 😉
Love, Kali Star
P.S. This link, is a recorded transmission for anyone that wants to amplify their happiness right now. Music is by the talented, Juju Namjai. I’m a Certified Master NLP Practitioner, Guided Imagery Facilitator, and studied and utilize EFT on occasion. This is best listened to in the morning, but you can listen to it at night too. I listened to it at night and had a solid venting dream, then woke up feeling really good. Venting dreams are another topic, I will post about, or you can contact me for a session. Although, it’s not a hypnosis track, don’t listen to this while driving or using heavy machinery. If this helps you at all, please do give it a like and a share, and follow me here.
The pink flowers wilted on my altar. I left them dried in their vase for over a week. It wasn’t like me. I can happily replace them on my own. The air felt that morning. I tried to catch the exact words for the feelings I was intuitively picking up on. I didn’t know how to respond, and to make things stranger, I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t crave my favorite pickles anymore. It was so disappointing, I really love those pickles.
The Universe has a plan. I knew there would be no fresh flowers coming to replace them. It was time to pluck them off their protective sepals and lay them on top of all the other wilted and dry petals. I placed a Jasper wand on top of them. I brought out the ocarina “lady muse”. I tried to meditate as usual but I couldn’t. I knew what was going to happen so I grabbed at my paper and pen to write.
“A dried flower is as beautiful as when it’s fresh. Letting go feels as good as the embrace.” And that leads me to begin this story with….
INTRODUCING THE VIKING ANGEL
As much as I resisted, in the midst of doing big important things, with an event coming up, I escaped from my focus on my work for a moment. I spent time with a Viking Angel by an oak tree under the Aries Full Moon. He’s an Angel that reminds me of a Viking in an Angelic way. He stands up for people any chance he gets, and once saved a Woman’s life, who was being stabbed by her boyfriend. As it happens, the event I’m preparing for is a fundraiser for victims of domestic violence.
He told me I wouldn’t have to worry about abuse again. Kind words, and I felt so good tears rolled down my face, though that was a decision I already made when my red hat was cut up. With him, I could feel the air around me as crisp, clear and safe. He gave me flowers, and more flowers.
20 years ago I injured my wrist, and after all those years of looking for natural solutions, and doing crazy things I wouldn’t recommend, it was time to go for surgery.
“I’m going to get wrist surgery this Friday”, I told him. He wanted to help.
THE HOSPITAL ANGELS
The Viking Angel picked me up to go to the hospital. Once I was settled, and in the room with the nurse, he left to go do more angelic earth work.
The nurse was an angel of comfort. I complimented her about it.
“My son has anxiety, so I really know how to make people feel comfortable in a room,” she said as she moved one thing here and there. Her quality of movements were energetic, and had less to do with what needed to be moved around. It just felt right.
After I answered all her questions, and it was almost time to be rolled out on the Hospital bed, I told her I was scared and nervous about the anesthesia. I began to curl up in fear. She stopped me.
“Don’t go in there like that, or you’ll wake up not feeling good. Here look at this wallpaper, it’s Hawaii.”
Although, Hawaii sounded nice and maybe the kid like wallpaper could be helpful, I knew just what to do. So I texted the Earth Angel.
“Could you send me a picture of nature? I’m scared.”
Just in time, he got my message, and sent me a picture he took. I felt immediate peace.
“Time to put your phone in the bag. You’re going to talk to the Anesthesiologist and then we’re going to roll you into another room.”
On the way, there were other people rolling around in Hospital beds. “Good Driving!” The nurses would say to each other. I felt safe hearing positive words.
The Anesthesia room was cold, with big machines, and huge circle lights over my head. The Doctor was in the corner with a blanket covering herself. They gave me extra blankets which were fresh out of the dryer. Scary cold room, in other words.
A mask went over my face, as I awaited the “talk” with the anesthesiologist.
“It’s oxygen, you like oxygen right? breathe in and out.”
I questioned in my mind if this was really oxygen, then someone on my other side, began to stick a needle in me and told me to count to 10. At 7, they told me to count slower. My body was tingling, and all went black.
Waking Up in Unity Consciousness
The next thing I knew I was having a vivid dream with the Viking Angel. The dream was unusual, not very good, but somehow comforting at the same time. The dream faded into silence and I began to open my eyes and feel consciousness. My senses were unaware, yet very awakened to positive forces.
From across the room a Man said, “How are you feeling?” His back was turned from me.
“Good”, I said. I was being honest. I was happy to be waking up.
He asked a couple more questions, and I answered them so he could hear me. The sound of his voice had the reminiscence of what it would be like if he was right above me. I began to be aware of the possibility that maybe he wasn’t talking to me. The Woman next to me was sort of muted, and in her own world. I began to sense in the ethers that from a higher consciousness level, she wasn’t responding to me yet, because there was a part of everyone in the room for a few moments that was aware of unity consciousness, just because I was aware of it.
The way I answered the questions was so positive, I wondered if it was happening because it would help the other patient in some way.
Finally, I answered one more question and felt some energy hit me a little. The questions weren’t for me.
“He’s talking to his patient.” The nurse next to me said, as I started to gain consciousness to realize I was in a room with other patients.
The Empathic Nurse
The next thing I knew I was in another room with a magical nurse at a computer, who had long wavy hair. Immediately, I felt a connection with her. She was empathic, kind, positive, and well functional. She said some things that blew my mind and warmed my heart. I realized, I was in the right place at the right time. With all my fears about what I just put myself through, she was a pleasant reminder that I was where I was supposed to be.
The Viking Angel came in with a warm, bright, compassionate look on his face. Our interaction was so kind and sweet, that the Empathic Nurse, had to share with us how much she liked us. We all shared stories.
The Viking Angel walked out while the Empathic Nurse and I exchanged some girly comments. For a moment, as I was still figuring out what was going on, I said, “where did he go?”
“He just went to get the car.” Suddenly, I felt so incredibly safe and cared for. She then wheeled me out in a chair, to his car. “Stay positive”, she assured me.
The Viking Angel and I spent the next few hours together, with some piano playing, a wild and hilarious moment at the store, sharing pears, and some tears telling stories in the backyard. Then it was time for me to be on my own. I felt like, if that was the last time I saw him, it was fine, I was sent an Angel to help me through the scary hospital day.
The Flowers were still living.
THE WHOLE FOODS ANGEL
“Could you get Grandma some orchids today?” My Aunt texted.
We face-timed next to the orchids at Whole Foods, trying to decide which one to get. I didn’t realize I would end up with a large one and I didn’t have a cart. I wasn’t supposed to carry anything with my left hand. So I was holding an orchid, a spinach box, and a pear without causing too much a nuisance on my right hand. It was a little crazy.
I walked down the aisle wishing I had gotten a cart, “if only someone could give me a cart right now.” I felt like since I didn’t have someone with me, it would be so nice to feel that I’m being looked out for. My wrist was in no position to be doing what I was doing. Moments later, and I’m crying as I write this, you can guess what happened.
A humble man, came up behind me and rolled a cart over. “Here you go.”
I wasn’t aware yet of what was happening, so my timing of response was delayed.
“This is for you.” he said.
“Oh my God, thank you! I’m not supposed to carry anything with my right hand.”
“You’re welcome! I’m just buying soup!” He held up his big cup of soup in his hand. He didn’t need the cart. Soup was all he came there for. Or was he a spirit in human form who knew I was the Soup Sorceress?
“I needed that thank, thank you, I was just hoping.”
“There are Angels everywhere,” he said. Then he was off and I never saw him again. The way he walked away, felt like magic.
He was just buying soup with a big empty cart.
It was a moment I didn’t want to forget, as I got teary eyed that Angels were looking out for me.
MY LITTLE ANGEL MOMENT
Later that week, hand in pain; I walked outside the gate at a friends house, knowing I was walking out at just the right time for whatever reason. Across the street was an elderly Man carrying an insulated Trader Joes bag.
“Joe?!” I said.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“I used to Art Model for you a decade ago.”
“Oh you look familiar. I’m much older now.”
I looked at his bag.
“Can I carry that for you?”
I knew Joes house, you have to walk a long way down steps and ramps to get to his little cabin by the creek. He almost didn’t let me help him.
“Are you sure? I’m happy to help.”
“I’m 96 years old”, he said. Then he let me help him.
“Are you sure? It’s really heavy.” he said.
With my right hand in a cast, “I still have one hand I can use right now, I can do it.” And we took a nice walk to his cabin to drop off his bag.
The Last Tea with the Viking Angel
I finally plucked the dried flowers that morning.
We wanted to go to the annual Chili Cook Off, but when we arrived there was a sign showing it was postponed. We went to the Theatricum across the street, but they were busy and I couldn’t show him the big stage. We went to Mimosa Cafe and I pointed out the koi fish pond, but an animal had eaten all the the koi fish. It wasn’t the best time to have tea at Mimosa, it’s more fun in the morning. Amidst an important conversation, someone I knew walked towards us. I politely said hello. Not the best idea. He came back to ask us if we wanted to buy acid. I rolled my eyes inside, thinking, ” today just isn’t the best reflection of Topanga for the Viking Angel to see.” We politely declined his offer.
“Can I ask you guys a question?” He asked us, as he pulled up a chair.
“How long is this story? We’re right in the middle of a big conversation.” I said.
“It’s really quick. It’s really important. Why do girls like fat guys?” As he curled up his lips in anger. My body went tense. It was a terrible feeling, I didn’t like his language towards people one bit and the deep emotions running through him felt uncomfortable. I wanted to say, “because he treats her better than you do,” but I saved myself for better words and let the Viking Angel kindly send him away.
Release & Transform
I didn’t want to pick up a little card in the bowl on the counter at Mimosa, full of different words for you to look away and choose one to gain insight for the day. I stirred the cards and chose transformation. I was thinking, “oh god, really, again?” As a Scorpio, you get used to it over and over and over again. It’s a truly fantastic journey, but it’s frustrating too. I knew it was coming when I broke a rose quartz wand, and accidentally poked an eyeball with my hat.
After many words and long moments of silence, that was the day to let go of the Viking Angel and jump into my next portal of transformation the way a pheonixing Scorpio does. I am evolving my divine feminine more every day, and I love that.
His soul is transforming to be the Man he’s meant to be. That’s why I had released his flower petals that morning. It’s time for him to travel to his next adventure of manly Angel Viking missions, so many miles away from here.
I’ll be there in spirit, sending the scary spiders outside and clearing away cobwebs for you.
He often said, “I’ll always protect you.” And this song was playing, here with me, that night, when he last messaged me. “goodnight, young beautiful sorceress.” There are many spirits protecting us, and those words he spoke, are a reflection of all those spirits, spoken by a human smiley face.
Goodbye young Viking Angel.
I’ll always remember that stool we both felt compelled to move at Erewhon, so it wouldn’t bother anyone else.
May all beings feel the magic in the air. May all beings be loved. My all beings feel safe to be themselves. May all beings transform. May all beings live in their truth and soul purpose. May all beings find magic in every day. May all beings have peace. May all beings be free.
No soup recipe this time, it’s coming. I have a new broth batch at Erewhon in Calabasas, good for our immune system and intuition, something I was challenged with this last month.
In my silent quest to find better words in all situations, I dissolved this.